Remrie's responce to Paul Murphy's post at Better Networker
~ Remrie Arrie
I never understood the concept of how someone could possibly fear success, but then I think that comes from the fact that I've never been in a position between success and failure (middle/lower-middle class), and when you grow up in failure your only fear is being stuck there, but you know you can deal with it.
As for actual moment of being in fear, when it's not a immediate danger but rather an omnipresent cloud that looms over the whole of your life it appears what works best is to stop for a moment and analyze it.
AnalyzeWhere does the fear come from? (your history, what your taught, your experiences, traumatic events)Why is it there? (a warning, a notice, an opportunity, surprise etc)What made it present? (What a person said, did, does, the environment, it's new, unknown, strange)What is it doing (Scaring you, exciting you, benefiting you, restricting you, forcing you to rethink, etc)What are your options? (how to act upon the fear, to conform, to persist, to re-plan, to give up, etc)What is your chosen action?What will your action cause?What will be the benefit of doing so?etc
When I find myself faced with a fear I've learned that it's best not to be reactive "OMG I'M FALLING I BETTER FLAIL MY ARMS AND SCREAM BLOODY MURDER" which can cause more harm than good. But instead I would be analytical and observe what happens so I can best compensate and react "OH! I got pushed, I'm falling backwards towards a wall, I might as well just turn around and land on the wall like a push up." or "Oh! I got pushed, no worries the pool is right behind me I'll be fine".
I'll admit, on both a physical and psychological level that takes practice, people look at me weird when I tell them how I naturally react but that's what sports do. First rule of pole vaulting I learned is 'Don't panic' because once you make contact with that pole there is only one way to go and that's up whether you like it or not! Honestly I was more scared about taking that first step towards planting that pole in the ground at running speed knowing it might recoil and I would shoot off in some random direction, lodge the pole into my chest or face, or it would bend too much and break, or I would end up going backwards... ouch, or hitting the bar on the way up (or down), falling off to the sides instead of landing on the mat. Or in some theoretical (1 in 100,000,000) sense someone kicks the pole out from under me. OMG My brain came up with every excuse as to why I should NOT do it than actually why I should do it, same thing with changing genders, same thing with martial arts, same thing with driving a car, same thing with diving, same thing with public speaking, same thing with investing and business.
When it comes to fears, risk, failures, criticism, etc I'm with Kiyosaki "Learn to manage risk" we learn to manage things by learning about them and practicing with peers before we ever go solo. If anyone here fears success for being some bad fat cat be better than everyone by showing everyone how capitalism can benefit society and not just your purse. ~ Remrie
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