Remrie Arrie – Success Newsletter – Date: 3/14/09
Sephroe@hotmail.com http://www.sephroe.spaces.live.com/© Remrie Arrie
Introduction
What is age?
What is your age?
What is the difference between you, someone half your age, and someone twice your age?
Age – 20 separate definitions with 14 nouns 5 verbs, and 1 idiom. There aren’t as many three letter words out there that evoke so many powerful emotions. It’s a word that likely only comes in third behind ‘Life’ and ‘Death’ as one of the greatest passive influences encompassing the whole of our lives.
The idea of aging is one that evokes so many emotions they can range from extremely positive and bright to extremely negative and gloomy. The topic of age can make many people quiver in their shoes at the thought of their eminent demise, or it can excite someone with prospects of new found wisdom and freedoms that comes with age.
With age comes change, a constant state of aging is a constant state of change. For better or worst this change happens, and while we cannot control our age, how we change over time we have 100% control over ourselves to influence how that change affects us.
· Stereotypes need not apply because age is just a number,
· The mental state of being associated with that age, that number, is just in our head,
· Our physical state of being is associated with our choices spanning our lifetime, granted the occasional dumb luck.
· Our quality of life is associated with all aspects of what we have willingly chosen to do and chose not to do during the span of our life.
Along with being a symbol of status, as well as a form of measurement, and one of the worst aspects of age is its existence as a system of comparison to compare ourselves to others. We separate generations by blocks of ages, we’re raised through school with other kids of nearly identical ages, our cultures will often dictate that we must have a lover of similar age as our own, our social cliques are often limited to the people of our same age, and if we vary far from that a person is viewed as a stalker, pedophile, and is not looked at highly by peers. Because of this and traditional cultural influences how we interact with individuals who are older or younger than us can vary greatly as if they were two totally different species all together.
I will personally admit despite my dislike of this mental function, when I interact with someone who is 70+ years old, I don’t interact with them as if they’re 7 years old. Likewise when I interact with a 7 year old I will not give them the same respect and admiration as I would a 70 year old at times.
Because contrary to popular belief while our bodies change, and so do our physical capabilities, we all deep down despite our age love to have fun and every 100 year old has just as many fantasies as any 10 year old. And on the flip side of that every 10 year old commands every bit of respect, care, attention, and support as any 100 year old. But for various reasons all through our lives we learn to not treat these individuals equally and fairly.
While I can and will agree that there are certain biological variances between a 10 year old, a 100 year old, and our selves, I refuse to ignore the fact that we are all human.
Marshall Rosenberg, the founder of the principals of non violent communication, and author of “NonViolent Communication: A Language of Life” explains in more detail about the ‘dehumanizing’ aspects of our language, particularly in the English dictionary system where we will use confusing, vague, and sometimes degrading terms to represent a person, and how that applies to age we will use terms such as baby, toddler, kid, teenager, young adult, adult, grown up, elderly, old person, gramps, etc. And as we age we are subject to these aspects associated with our age that will often times dehumanize who we are and replace our humanness with a stereotypical characteristic or label to which we ‘qualify’ as a person. And this characteristic defines how the entire world views us as an individual.
Subject: Aging
š Today is March 14 2009
Today is my 22nd birthday and I look back at my life thinking: “What the fuck happened?!!!!”
March 14th 1987 a baby boy was born in Rushville Illinois, a tiny town of 3,300 people There he stayed there raised in a typical white farm house out in the country a miles outside of town until after preschool he would then move to Rantoul Illinois for kindergarten to live in a single wide trailer, and from there at the age of six for first grade then moves to Champaign Illinois population 100,000 at the time for first until fifth grade where he would then move away at the age of ten. During all this time though he was just as small as the smallest girl in all his classes, easily picked on, but also returned the favor with such fury no-one dared to pick on him knowing how down right crazy he was.
Then at 11 years old he moves to Ganado Arizona on a Indian reservation and goes from liking school to willingly ditching out 44+ days of school, many of those days spent hiding in his dad’s closet while his dad was at work, sitting there curled up watching the clock waiting for it to hit 3pm so nobody would catch him outside of school. This and many more things and he and still passed.
Then 12 years old he moved back to his hometown Rushville Illinois and found himself failing 7th grade but he was shipped to a special education school for students with ‘special needs’ where he would find himself enjoying school once again but still having problems which lead to him getting kicked out of his house twice, and abandoned by most of his family.
And after his 8th grade year he made the declaration to as many teachers as he could saying “Next year I will be the best I can be and not get into any trouble at all and never be fined or lose points.” He finally had a purpose in life. Freshman year comes with a new principal and the young boy still the smallest in all his classes at the age of 14 goes insane. He gets tackled and restrained on the floor several times by teachers, one time resulting in him passing out due to exhaustion, he gets arrested and dragged out of school by cops 4 times that year and is sent to juvenile hall for battery, and put on probation and forced to clean the court house and is suspended the last 30 days of school. (he still passed the freshman year go figure).
Tattered and torn, the fallowing year he finds himself lost and confused and scared to defend himself in any way due to what happen, but still he reacts with the most primal instincts of self preservation. His freedom of expression restricted, he doesn’t know who or what he is, he finally understands and realizes, coming to terms with the knowledge that he is actually a girl and isn’t the person he is raised to be. All the influences upon him to be a man, to conform to the male norm in a tiny school of 50 students, 48 of which are men he finds himself trapped in a box. In that box he hopes and prays for his release or a chance to be who he has always dreamed of being.
Up until the age of 19 he would find himself wallowing in misery in the basement of his grandmothers house day in and day out sometimes rolling around on the cold cement floor crying his eyes out to the song “Sadness and Sorrow” from Naruto. Then after much planning and anticipation he makes his attempt to break free and forever live his life in happiness by completing the prerequisites to get into his dream school EATM at Moorpark College 2,000 miles away just north of L.A California.
There he enjoys what he sees to be bliss for the first time in his life in a long, long time. But it won’t lasts as his first year of the two year school draws to a close with him losing all of his notes for the semester, one of his 2 cats becoming ill with a kidney blockage, and the other being injured by a dog, excess amounts of stress building up from grueling 6:30am to 5pm work and school every day including holidays and weekends and natural disasters. The longest work day at school was from 6:30am to 7:30pm. After all that with still a whole second year, being a guy who wish to be a girl in a school program of 10 guys and 90 girls to go he got so far until he got a D and was kicked out of the program.
From there he got evicted from his home, was forced to give up a new job he just got that paid him more money than he ever earned before in his life, and was forced to travel 2,000 miles back to the home he ran away from with a car that started smoking from the engine just 10 miles into the drive. During the 2 day trip he would find his car breaking down in Oklahoma with a jammed transmission that would take a week just to get looked at, he had two cats and two rats with him and the car filled with his stuff, he took refuge in a hotel that was abandoned on route 66 fifteen years ago that was completely destroyed because no other place accepted pets, and the only place that did didn’t accept credit cards. After being picked up by his father who took 3 days to get to him, he struggled to find a roommate which he has been doing for the past month and the only person he found turned out to be someone trying to scam him out of thousands of dollars.
So what were the first 20 years of your life like?
In this moment at home all alone when he realized person who was pretending to want to be a roommate was just a scammer he hung up the phone ending the call he made to confirm his suspicion, took two steps into the kitchen staring at the floor in biter rage and defeat he stomps the ground several times, each time screaming at the top of his lungs. In this moment with all the fury in his heart he declared ‘no more!’ No more would he settle for anything less than he is, that no matter what he would do what he had to do for himself and nothing less, and at any cost would do whatever it took to get what he has long since desired.
With that in mind in a week he made a criteria for a place to live in that met his standard, he found one acceptable place, got confirmation they had an apartment available, he reserved it and with the check and application in hand he drove the 2,000 miles without being certain it would still be there for him. But he knew no matter what he would get back to CA even if it meant living out of his car with two cats. And upon arrival August 20th 2007 he made the immediate goal to get on hormones ASAP to start changing genders which what took him 4 years before hand only took him 1 month of taking action. On Sept 19th he got his hormones and from there took immediate and dramatic actions to change his (now her) life for the better. Now 18 months later at the age of 22 she is living her life as a woman, has never been happier, has never been more accomplished, and now has the meaning and dedication to life she has always long for which this newsletter is a result of.
That’s my entire life story summed up in about two pages; mind you I left out a lot of other details. With the above in mind we must keep a mental and possibly even physical record of our history to know who we are, where we came from and why we have come to be. Now why in the hell all that stuff happened in my past I have no clue! I can make guesses and detailed refined hypotheses, maybe win some award or something but I cannot point to one thing and say “This is why!” And in reality it really doesn’t matter, nor does it matter in your life the specific details of why. The more you understand the more power to you, that gives you a lot of leverage to cause a positive change but there does not need to be comprehension of why our lives are as great or as horrible as it is.
What we got right now in this very moment is time, and we never know how much or how little we have. You might be reading this at the age of 80 but for all you know you’ll live to be 120! That’s not even the world record!!! If you’re 80 that mean you have 40 years left to live! For all I know I might die at 80 which gives me about the same amount of time! What would you do if you were my age? What would you do knowing you have enough time to accomplish what you wish? But the fact of the matter regardless of you’re 80 or more or 20 or less, a sad fact of life is that you might not be here tomorrow! Some people don’t live to be 10 let alone 100. And for all you guys out there who know that it is proven that statistically men live shorter lives than women, the second longest living person ever was a man who lived to be 120 years old.
Jeanne Calment
Female
Birth: 21 February 1875
Death: 4 August 1997
122 years, 164 days
France
Shigechiyo Izumi
Male
Birth: 29 June 1865
Death: 21 Feb 1986
120 years, 237 days
Japan
But then who am I to say that any excuse you have is not a valid excuse? Maybe they are! Or maybe….
http://tinyurl.com/bvke8e(Alternative link:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PH8nTfxwByY&feature=channel_page)
š Time(film) The Illusionist: Orange Tree scene
http://tinyurl.com/oq6wv9It’s all a matter of perspective. 10 minutes for you can go by in a blip or seem like it takes an hour, if you were a roach 10 minutes might be 1 year of your life. How old you are is all relative to what you compare it with, without a comparison is only is what it is, nothing more or less in any way. And the number 1 strategy to ensure misery is to compare yourself to others in anyway shape or form, this includes age. I can’t tell you how much I used to beat myself up for not having started hormones back when I was 18, and when I was 18 I was kicking myself for not starting hormones at 16, because I know how stupid I was. Not only was I comparing myself to other transgender people, but I also compared myself to myself! I knew a girl who started hormone therapy at 13, and two years when it comes to being transgender can have a HUGE dramatic positive effect beyond anyone’s wildest dream. Even more stupid was to compare myself to myself in the past for not having gotten started sooner, comparing who I am now to who I was in terms of beauty, fitness, youth.
I’m pretty sure the way I feel about wishing I could be ten again is the same as most people who are 100 who wish they could be 50 again, or someone who is 50 wishing they were 25 again. If only if only if only if only…. If only I would shut the hell up and look at today I might actually ensure I have a better tomorrow!
Without those events in my life to kick my perspective into alignment with the reality of the situation I never would have got out of that rut I fell into in life; and if your perspective disempowers you by creating feelings of shame, envy, guilt, laziness, sorrow, etc, then you are only going to ensure that tomorrow you feel just empowered in such a particular moment. Whether you’re 50 comparing yourself to a 25 year old, whether you compare yourself to a super model feeling leaving you feeling inadequate, whether you’re a man or woman comparing yourself to the other gender, I don’t care if you compare your lawn to your neighbors, if you are feeling disempowered for what you have you certainly aren’t going to feel good about your current situation.
On the flip side if you compare yourself to something and you feel greater than, superior, exceptional, better than, you in turn look down upon what you are comparing yourself to which will influence how you interact with that person or object. In this case, particularly if it’s another human being then you will create feelings within them of isolation, rejection, subservience. This will also influence their perception of you and you can bet if you’re not a well liked individual to them that they will express their feelings in negative ways. In extreme cases by violating and/or destroying what you take pride in.
In terms of age in particular, when you think about it, it is rather interesting how our sense of perspective influences how we feel and interact with those around us. At the age of 5 we want to be 10, at ten we can’t wait to be in middle school, at 14 we can’t wait to be 16 to drive. At 16 we can’t wait to be 18 to smoke, look at porn, not be subject to a curfew, and be ‘free’ to no longer be the property of our parents. At 18 we can’t wait to be 21 to be able to legally drink, move out, go to college, and all through the twenties we seem to be in a state of being where we feel this is the best time of our lives, and that starting from 30 it’s all down hill from there. At 30 we wish to be 20, at 40 we wish to be 30, at 50 we wish to be 40, and assuming you recover from your ‘mid life crisis’ and achieve a second state of being in your elder years you are able to simply just enjoy life waiting for it to pass as if it were no different than watching traffic drive by from your porch. Otherwise without that second state of being you forever wish for a thing of the past instead of looking at the future or present as a thing of beauty worth enjoying now.
But I can promises you here and now that if your sense of perspective creates feelings of inadequacy, then you will never be adequate or exceptional as you are in this moment whether you’re 10, 20, 50, or 100+.
š Youth
How much do you remember of your youth? How young are you now? Remember your age is all relative to your perceptions of what you compare yourself to.
In your younger years until you are 12 years old what is life like for you right here and right now without comparison? What was great about this youth of yours, what was bad? What did you enjoy? What did you want? What empowered you? What did you want out of life? It helps if you write any questions in my newsletters down on a separate piece of paper and answer them to the best of your ability.
In my elementary school years about the age of 9 and 10 I remember wanting to be an astronaut, or study planets and stars. In retrospect if I had to guess why due to the lack of how interesting such things are in reality, I would imagine for most of us without even knowing it we would dream of doing such things because the universe in all it’s vastness and freedom and diversity offers us a visual reflection of our own imagination; and thus what we are capable of doing within this vast sandbox.
That combined with the excitement of experiencing as much as humanly possible in gravity simulators, the Vomit Comet, riding the space shuttle, floating weightless, and traveling further and faster than anything has ever gone not only pushes our minds just beyond the point of human capabilities, but it pushes our bodies and gives us lots of experience and excitement and real joy in life to be able to do this things and always demand more, and thus always build upon what exists.
If I had to be sexist I would say that applies to mostly boys out there but I know a lot of girls also feel the same. But while many people do, not everyone takes to this dream, for others they look to designing and building and playing videogames so they can experience more than what humans are capable of doing in reality, others drift towards robotics to push the limits of how we think of reality, maybe want to become a Disney Imagineer, be the best sports star that ever exists, and more!
Why do such youth produce such a obvious reflections of infinite human potential? To strive to push the limits of human existence and do things we feel nobody else could possibly do? It can’t be because it’s just some fake idealistic dream certainly not, to say such a statement is an act of comparing such thinking to “reality” which is likely just a comparison of your own reality and a sense of perspective that it is impossible.
If that were the case it would be impossible to travel around the world, it would be impossible to fly, it would be impossible travel into space, it would be impossible to send invisible frequencies through the air, it would be impossible to communicate with someone on the opposite side of the world in less than 5 seconds, would you believe it was thought that at one time in the early 1900’s that people thought it was impossible to travel faster than 60mph (100kph) in the early years of race car driving? Not to mention all the other countless inventions that has come into existence in the modern era. How long until humans can teleport? Brain transplants, cybernetic robotic bodies, commercial space travel, social integration with alien species, world peace. How long?
Your age is only a measurement of numbers, in reality age doesn’t exist. You can be 12 and have the same outlook on life as anyone in their mid life crisis.
š Teens/Young Adults
What about your teens? How much do you remember about your teenage years? If you’re in your teens how do you feel about your age now? What is great about this time, what is not so great? What are the greatest aspects of being a teenager whether 13 or 19? Only a six year difference but oh boy what a difference! Remember your age is all relative to your perceptions of what you compare yourself to.
What happens in this time? When you ask a same group of kids who wants to be an astronaut, Disney Imagineer, super sports athlete, push the limits of man kind ect, by 15 years old I’d bet you’d find only a fraction, if any of these same individuals still committed to those dreams. What happens? What is it about this age in your life during one of the most influential developmental periods of our life that has caused such a massive influence on who you are to this day? Puberty excluded that’s for sure, we can’t blame everything on that.
If an individual is lucky, they may find themselves even more supported in their dreams and ambitions by positive peers than they were in their younger years. Unfortunately however it seems that the norm is that individuals become competitive and emotional, with one another, while peer influences are subjecting this individual to influences to change how they live their lives so they can be members of the norm, to fit into a clique, and define their existence through a means of rebellion as if it is the only way possible to beat ‘the system’.
In my particular case I know of a guy in his late 20’s now who went to one of the best high schools in the state, he had a seemingly great early teens and youth days before him and now he’s coming out of college soon with a PhD and is planning on traveling from U of I in Champaign Illinois to San Francisco CA to partner with others to start their first business.
Where as in comparison from my story above my teens consisted of social excommunication, being arrested and imprisoned, parental neglect and rejection, envy of my two sisters because I was the only son, no friends (my ‘best friends’ were my cat and the tree in my front yard), no faith in anything, no belief in myself growing up in a school environment where I was never encouraged or challenged in a positive way, I got A’s and B’s just for showing up and not causing problems.
If I were to compare myself to him I’d feel less fortunate, incapable, not supported, disadvantaged, envious, frustrated, hate and resentment for my life and those involved in it and more. But walking away from my own experience alive rather than as another kid at my school who committed suicide (Out of all the kids I went to school with 3 people I know have committed suicide, and one ended up back in prison) I actually feel empowered that I survive that; Let alone everything else that had happened until age 20. So while I cannot feel happy or proud of where I came from I hold that existence of mine close to my heart and my pride and use it as a source of power to propel myself and my dreams into the infinity I possessed as a youth.
What about your teens?
Remember! Your age is only a measurement of numbers, in reality age doesn’t exist. You can be a teenager and have the same outlook on life as anyone in their mid life crisis. I know I certainly did, and it didn’t do anything to help me. With recognition and acknowledgement of a problem, a solution can be found or created from scratch. With action, your reality can change unbelievably faster than you can believe. I personally went from a 20 year old man at the worst time of my life to a 21 year old beautiful woman in 8 months living the best time of my life which still grows to this day.
š Adult
For all intensive purposes This is 20+ years old. And it is safe to say that here is when things REALLY start to take off. College, college graduation, work, careers, families, traveling, etc… This is the moment that is typically seen as the time of your life when you most alive with the possible exception of your youth before teens. For a lot of people this is where life accelerates into infinity as it does so for me (give or take a few bumps, and pot holes), or skid head-long into a brick wall of financial and social destruction.
In the case of a employer of mine she was kicked out at 17 and had to start from scratch, as well as Anthony Tony Robins for those of you who recognize the name, and from this position they built their empire from practically to literally nothing. And they both faced their own challenges along the way, my employer was destroyed by various challenges over the years from lawsuits, partnerships, IRS issues, loss of her animals (In which case she’s in the animal industry), surgeries, various strikes, and more.
In my personal case, I started with nothing but financial support from my father which is a big help, without that I’d likely not be where I am today doing it all on my own. I started my rampage of personal development and building the foundations for my future successes at the age of 20 pretty much on Jan 1st 2008 that’s pretty much the start of the second chapter of my personal life, and so far I’ve gotten as far as I have.
In person it doesn’t look like anything has changed, still run away from home, still a failure of my school, still unemployed, still broke, etc. But I do have one awesome friend who I will never lose, and information and experiences to last me a lifetime. But all the major changes are in my brain, the changes that have given me so much power in such a short amount of time I am already changing lives. I can’t even imagine where I will be in the future, so we will have to wait and see. I’m only 22 now. How about you? Where are/were you in this time of your life? Why are aspects of this time in your life good or bad? What has happened and/or is happening right now?
If you’re not in your 20’s yet, ask yourself these four questions.
“Who and where do I want to be when I am 20?”
“What will I need to do in order to be who and where I want to be at that age?”
“Am I willing to do these things I’ve listed to be who and where I want to be?”
“I am going to do it, Yes/No?”
There is no better time to take control of your life unless you’re in your teens already supported and encouraged on a huge scale by peers and systems. If you’ve already missed your adult years there’s nothing to say you’re at any disadvantage, and certainly not if you’re younger. While it does have it’s advantages to be 20, your later years will likely give you the capabilities to do what you would have done then right now because in the early adult years many people do start out from scratch.
Remember! Your age is only a measurement of numbers, in reality age doesn’t exist. To be an adult is to be no greater than teens and youth and no lesser than elderly. As a man said to me who is 52 years old who dreams of flying who I helped to motivate and give confidence and resources and information to help, he said this…
“The number of years on earth has no affect on wisdom one is privileged to posses. You are wise and I appreciate your thoughts. Peace.”
~ vtxrider3 (YouTube Username)
š Elderly
This is a touchy subject many people greatly neglect beyond health and medical information and services. And even by these individuals they do what they can to make everything as lively, youthful and as great as possible. But the fact of the matter for all intensive purposes is you’re ‘old’. At what age is considered elderly varies between individuals, the social/medical/political standards place that age at 55 the point where you become a senior, at least in U.S.A.
But I cannot go without giving credit where credit is due, if you consider yourself elderly, or even borderline on your way there, I want you to look at yourself in the mirror look into your eyes and say with all your honesty and integrity… “You’re awesome!”
You will likely crack a smile, laugh, feel insulted, get frustrated, or be completely neutral, it may take many, many tries for you to do it before it really sinks in, but I want you to look into that mirror and with all your heart tell yourself you’re awesome and the reasons you are.
This is a bunch of different exercises rolled into one for motivational development to improve ones attitude towards themselves and their reality and change their state of being to a desired positive place. While many will say make a habit to do it daily, I’ll be honest, I’m 22 and I don’t do it at all. The fact of the matter is we don’t often appreciate ourselves, we often don’t give ourselves enough credit, we often don’t praise ourselves, and as if humility is some noble expression we’re often taught not to accept such things that support ourselves and who we are.
In a college course of mine when I was 20 oh so many years ago (note the sarcasm time is irrelevant) I sat next to a 77 year old man in two of my courses, Animal Diversity, and the fallowing semester Animal Behavior. I will tell you straight up right this instant, I can’t think of anyone over the age of 12 who is more youthful in mind and spirit than this guy is. He crams through books, learns anything he can, and thrives off of education, and he helps people along the way, he is a Kid, which I’ll get at in the next section.
Many of the reasons for this I won’t go into now because it’s a long rant for a different subject. But it’s all about ownership, he owns who he is! He own’s his reality, he owns his state of being, he controls it, manipulates it, and does as he pleases to ensure it never falls below a grade A quality of life.
An example of this is a story he told me of when he was at the market ‘the other day’, he was shopping as usual and he met another ‘elderly’ old woman and he said this “Now, I hope you don’t take this the wrong way like I’m perverted or something, but you’re one hot girl!”. The word ‘hot’ might not be an exact quote but it’s along the lines of beautiful, gorgeous, sexy, etc. And her response is she turned to him with a wide eyed expression and said “Nobody has told me that since I was in my 20’s!”
And there is certainly something to be said there. As we ‘grow’ older and older, our perspective changes entirely depending on that number that reflects our age, videogame players might attribute it more to a character level, and as a result our behavior reflects our age and how we treat people around us based on their age as well. We don’t give the credit and acknowledgements to ourselves for the state of being we exist in our own individual reality, nor do we give credit and acknowledgements to others for the state of being they exist in. We treat them like a 5 year old, like a 10 year old, like a 20 year old, like a 40 year old, like a 60 year old, like a 90 year old, etc… and we treat ourselves like we are a reflection of what is expected of anyone with that number.
And for those of us who are not in our elder years, there certainly needs to be credit given to those individuals beyond just family relatives. I’m sure many of us complement and acknowledge the youthful people of our society for their material possessions, for their physical beauty whether masculine or feminine, for their achievements in life, all the while encouraging and supporting them to do more whether or not they’re a friend and family. I do it all the time, particularly online, while at a red light I shouted from the driver’s seat to a woman on my right in the next car “You have beautiful nails!”
However even I must admit that give so much credit to the more elder individuals, there are a few mental and social blocks, but part of it is my own personal lack of interest in interacting with those individuals. But in my experience of observation and interaction with the elders I’ve known they are no different than any other human being; and because of that they deserve every bit as much respect.
On the flip side though, and this applies to every age as well, we all get so gung-ho about our age when ‘disgraced’ or ‘offended’ in any way that has to do with our age, many of us lash out against the individuals who likely unknowingly made a bad comment about something negative attributed to that age. Whether wrinkles, hair falling out/graying, pimples, PMS, immaturity, rebellion, dictatorship authority, parental, physical, mental etc…
All I have to say is get off that high horse of yours and realize that your physical body changes for better or worst! Every age has it’s advantages over others as well as disadvantages, trust me I’m going to flip out and be very sensitive about the issue of losing/thinning/graying of my beautiful hair when I’m older. But to believe that I have somehow lost something of value attributed to who I am is every bit as ludicrous as those who believe that they have somehow gained something of value attributed to who they are through cosmetic surgery. To each their own for sure, we are all entitled to a beautiful physical body, and those of use who don’t likely have something far to few people (including oneself) can appreciate.
Take who you are, and go with it! You’ll be amazed at who/what you will turn out to be if you actually start being who/what you want to be. Going from male at the worst time of my life at the age of 20 highly sensitive to gender issues and easily offended by others, to a beautiful woman at the age of 21, 8 months later living the best life possible I imagine I have some leverage over that subject.
Another example beyond myself is a 50 year old woman spent $20,000 USD on cosmetic surgery to look like her 28 year old daughter and completely changed her life. Skipping the issue of ethics of whether it’s ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ to do so… I don’t know where she is going to be in the coming years of her life, but having read the stories and seen the pictures, from the massive amount of positive change told in her story I have to say I fully support and encourage and expect anyone else to do just as much and more should they realize their reality not be align with who/what they are.
If you’re further interested, Google “50 year old has surgery to look like her daughter” or go to this web link here:
http://tinyurl.com/Surgery-Look-AlikeAlternative link: (
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1170348/The-50-year-old-mother-spent-10-000-surgery-look-like-daughter.html)
No matter who or what you want to be in life, you have to know who/what you are and do now, look at who/what you want to be, write out what you know you need to do to get there, and do it. Age is not a factor, action is. Steve Chandler talks about in his book about a man who didn’t become a professional actor until 70+ where he then won an academy award. Harland Sanders “Colonel Sanders” of KFC fast food chain didn’t get rich until he took his humble chicken recipe and tried to sell it facing hundreds of rejections; maybe a thousand by some sources. At the age of 65 he used his first social security paycheck to fund his entrepreneurship.
The fact of the matter is, unless your dead, it’s not too late to do anything and everything. If you’re on your death bed reading this right this second I challenge you to do something to give those last moments meaning.
š Being a Kid Vs Being a Grown Up
It’s pretty safe to say every grown up wants to be a kid, and every kid wants to be a grown up; most likely all the while they keep their same mental perspectives of life so they don’t lose what they have gained. Kids want to be adults to be free to do what they want (until they learn about a little government organization called law enforcement), and grown ups want to be kids so they don’t have the responsibilities and complexities of being an adult; such as bills, children, degenerated health/energy/beauty, not have to go to work, etc.
But there is a psychological difference between being a kid Vs grown up; it’s not about age. As I explained before hand, and much more in depth in the next section, your age in how old you are doesn’t exist beyond a mathematical measurement of how many times you’ve gone around the sun.
Because of that, being a kid or grown up is a state of mind, it’s a state of being that you live and embody. Such that when you look in the mirror what do you see?
1. Do you see a kid or an adult?
2. Do you see someone young or old?
3. Do you see someone smart or dumb?
4. Do you see someone charismatic or unpleasant to be around?
5. Do you see someone beautiful or repulsive?
6. Do you see someone happy or sad?
Those are all states of mind that embody a state of physical being in your environment which is reflected in how you express yourself to other individuals and how they see you. Being a kid or a grown up is one of those.
While many kids are trying to become grown ups, most of them don’t realize they already are! Starting the moment they see themselves as an ‘adult’ they start exhibiting stereotypical behaviors of what an adult is or should be.
An example of this is back when I was 19 in Rushville Illinois, on a dead end street surrounded by trailers on the edge of town, I ran into a group of 3 children playing in the street. I estimated their ages to be 8, 5 and 3, the three year old being shirtless holding a stick in his hand I believe he was playing some form of Cops & Robbers game with the other two. They were just standing there at that particular moment looking up at me with their youthful faces and out of curiosity I asked them “Are you all adults?” They all agreed, the 8 year old, the 5 year old, and even the little 3 year old standing barefoot, shirtless, with a stick in hand no taller than my belt.
I’m not sure what insisted that I ask them that question, but ever since then their answers to it has been quite intriguing to me. And maybe I’m being over analytical, but if I remember correctly, even when they answered that question the 8 and 5 year olds body postures took on something of a more dominant stance expressing they’re capable.
When I pair that idea with the knowledge I have of behaviors in juveniles, particularly those of my special education alternative school for students with ‘special needs’, I notice they all see themselves in the light of being adults, and certainly commanding treatment as one by others; even if they don’t exactly behave like an adult. And of course the teachers in these environments all take an authority positions as “the grown up” but consequently view and treat the students as “kids”. And anyone familiar with such social environments know how much respect these individuals can command causing a lot of tension because how they are treated is not in line with how they wish to be treated.
I would make the assumption that many of the youths in those environments also don’t know how they need to be treated anymore than the teachers don’t know how to treat them. I’ve found in school settings, the teachers that do know they often feel restricted by the regulations of the school board of directors and other administrations. Whether fear of punishment, criticism, losing their job, etc.
And this isn’t just an isolated small group of population. Anyone familiar with the society of today’s youth can see they demand a lot of respect and freedom, and can even be insulted if called ‘children’ or ‘kids’.
Many of these people have already grown up, I see them as adults in today’s society, I interact with them frequently and the more ‘grown up’ they are, the more and more drab they act and feel towards their way of life. Their life is founded upon working hard, deserving/earning respect, being respected, getting what they want, etc. But at the same time avoiding many responsibilities because as they grow up they find themselves having more and more they don’t want. They will often feel others are responsible for something and not them; even if it is their fault.
All the while I see many ‘grown ups’ who behave in a entirely different light. These are people who enjoy virtually every day, they thrive off of humor, fun and games, they spend their life enjoying as much of it as possible, they don’t expect anything of anyone other than sincerity and for them to enjoy life as well.
For example Randy Pausch, professor of Carnegie Mellon University who died of pancreatic cancer July 25th 2008. At the university it’s traditional for them to give a ‘last lecture’ to their students and peers as if they were going to die, and anybody who doesn’t know the story of Randy Pousch, when he gave his last lecture, it was for real, and the school and students knew it. But the guy went on to do more than that, he wrote a book called “The Last Lecture”, went on Oprah twice, good morning America, etc.
When you watch videos of him, his last lecture, read his book and speeches off his friends at his memorial service it is painfully obvious that this individual in mind body and soul is nothing short of a kid. The first lecture of his class for each season he gets the students attention by smashing a VCR player with a sledge hammer, he works in the Entertainment Technology program which is building virtual reality programs and videogames. One of his friends speaking at his memorial service who is your stereotypical ‘grown up’ psychologist who visited Disney World by himself, was utterly bored and felt bad, was forced by Randy to go again with him, and Randy went “Daddy Daddy! They’re about to close the park!” and of course at the end of the day Disney World has the huge fireworks display and he got to see Disney World through the eyes of a ‘kid’
It’s also worth noting Randy worked as a Disney Imagineer building the Aladdin ride. And his popular saying is “You can be a Tigger in life, or an Eeyore”; As well as an avid collector of stuffed animals.
There are few other examples of what a ‘kid’ is Vs a ‘grown up’ than Randy Pousch who died at the age of 47, and someone we might recognize more as our boss at work, or principal in school. Someone made the point in his memorial service about his last lecture “He can tell you he is going to die, and one minute later have us all laughing.”
When applying this to yourself, you can ask yourself those two questions.
1. Do you see yourself as a kid or a grown up?
2. Do you see yourself as a Tigger or an Eeyore?
A lot of us might say ‘both’, particularly to being a kid Vs grown up, I always did, but in reality it seems you really are one or the other. Since I changed genders I’ve made the personal attempt to experience life as a kid myself, and since I recently learned about the concept of being either Tigger or Eeyore, I’m going to see how well I can be a Tigger. Because I know I certainly have been quite the Eeyore in recent times.
If you’re unsure of how you experience reality in these perspective, chances are you’re more grown up / Eeyore, because when you see the world through the eyes of a kid who lives by the philosophies of a character like Tigger, it’s impossible to be unsure of who/what you are, and what you think about life. It’s such a predominant experience it can be more liken to one of those greatest moments of your life, when something exciting happened, when you experienced something for the first time, etc.
For more information on Randy Pousch here are some links to YouTube, Wikipedia, and Amazon.
Home page:
http://download.srv.cs.cmu.edu/~pausch/YouTube Last Lecture:
http://tinyurl.com/Randy-Pousch-Last-LectureAlternative Link: (
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ji5_MqicxSo&feature=channel_page)
YouTube Memorial Service: http://tinyurl.com/nf38g9
Alternative Link:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gBxWO20OkbY&feature=channelYouTube: Time Management:
http://tinyurl.com/mkehdkAlternative Link:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oTugjssqOT0&feature=channel_pageWikipedia:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Randy_Pauschš “You’re old a lot longer than you are young” ~ Anonymous
There’s a quote I heard by a person walking by me at a local skating rink in Jacksonville Illinois that goes as such “You’re old a lot longer than you’re young.” And for the longest time this quote looped over and over and over in my head and from the first time I heard it, and every time I thought about it I agreed more and more with it! I’ve shared it with a few other people since then and they too believe it.
Fast forward 3 years to the age of 21, I was recently reminded of the quote after not having thought about it for some time. After much of my personal and emotional development, I thought about it once more, pondering I paused… and just stood there in awe of how bloody stupid I was to believe that statement!
Homework assignment #1, I seriously challenge you to define the word ‘Old’
You will get anywhere between 9 to 25 definitions from each source!
And the thing is, none of those point to a single thing saying “this is what old is.” Unlike defining a tree you can define it simply by pointing to a tree, the same with a cat, or a dog, or bird, reptile, car, etc. Because those objects physically exist in the real world that can be interacted with directly.
However the word ‘Old’ is a character of perspective, just like right and wrong, ethical, unethical, smart, dumb, slow, fast, tall, short, right, left, old and young. They cannot physically or theoretically exist in any way without something to compare it to.
For instance you can’t point to a person or thing and say “That is old.” If you do I hope they don’t hear you. But you can say “That is older –than– ________.” The same applies for slow, fast, smart, dumb, tall and short. As such it is nothing more than a tool of measurement in comparison to what it is measuring. Because of that, without something to measure it to, in reality it does not exist, nothing is inherently old.
Going back to that woman’s quote “You’re old a lot longer than you’re young.” What in the world does that mean? You can have a moment to think about this before continuing if you wish.
What I get from it is it means that IF you are old, you must be comparing yourself to something you are not. And that if you always compare yourself to something that is –younger– (not young), then you will forever be ‘old’ no matter what your age is. It also applies that your age as mentioned before does not physically exist either, it is simply a measurement of your existence in comparison to how many times the earth has gone around the sun; nothing more. I would suppose if you go back in time before people realized the earth revolves around the sun, you would likely find rather unique and crazy ideals out there of what someone’s age was back then. If anyone knows something about that subject email me, I’d be interested in learning about that.
For that reason, how ‘old’ you are in relation to ‘age’ is nothing but a comparison to how many times someone else went around the sun; in this case, measuring yourself to someone who has gone around it less than you. But for 10 billion other reasons attributed to our ‘age’ and the ‘age’ of those around us, we willingly and unknowingly throw ourselves and others around us into emotional turmoil causing personal and social conflicts, stress, incompatibilities, intolerance, and ignorance.
All of this because of a measurement, comparison, and personal perspectives.
The fact of the matter is that it’s all a matter of perspective. Who and what you think of yourself as defines who and what you will become and those thoughts are what made you the person you are now; for better or worst even if you haven’t changed at all.
I will personally guarantee you that the quickest way to achieve depression, anxiety, inadequacy, personal unappreciation for yourself and others and by others. As well as resentment, insecurities, jealousy, and down right hate for yourself and those around you is for you to compare yourself to another person.
If you ever feel you are some how at all –less than– another individual, you will be damning yourself far worst than any god or devil could.
On the other hand if you ever feel you are somehow –greater than– another individual, you’re taking the quickest path to ruining social relationships and interactions.
It’s not really a double-edged sword like many people will believe when they see those two options. In reality it’s not a either or situation, you can teach yourself and others not to compare oneself to another individual at all. This avoids the two situations where you will feel greater or less than another person. Instead our perspective of ourselves and those around us greatly changes when we compare ourselves, to where we who and what we want to be all the while giving credit, and acknowledging who we are and what we have done to ensure that we don’t feel bad if we miss our marks.
Doing this changes one’s personal experience in reality, balancing out who they are, to who they were and who they want to be in the future. As well as creating a state of perpetual progress and development to be greater than what we are today. And at the same time, by acknowledging who we are now and what we have done we are ensuring that we never feel unaccomplished or less than anything in proportion to ourselves or others.
Whether by age, height, gender, ethics, speed, etc it applies on a individual level, and it is very effective even if adopted in moderate amounts. It’s not even a process that needs perfection. Because lets face it, just like the exercise of looking into a mirror and telling yourself you’re awesome and how awesome you are, this process is also difficult to adopt. Because this process requires a entire mental shift in perspective, a change of habit, and all in all a new way of life. In reality however it is a more long term version of the mirror exercise by giving yourself credit, and not comparing yourself to others.
Before I changed genders my life was founded upon comparing myself to others, comparing myself to beautiful women, comparing myself to beautiful trans-women, I was 18 comparing myself to 16 year olds and making myself miserable! Over time spanning about a year, pretty much my entire 21st year of my life I spent removing myself from that foundation, to this day and for the next couple years I’ll still be refining this myself.
But while I do occasionally slip, just as I see someone drive by in a beautiful brand new deep blue 2009 Dodge Viper, and I’m in my 1997 Dodge Dakota pickup truck that’s been in 3 crashes, engine replaced, transmission rebuilt, 220,000+ miles. Or in some other situation where a person supposedly has something better than I, all in all as I change my way of life to always admire myself and others, give credit where credit is due, never compare myself to anything or anyone, and always find ways to further improve myself, I find that my life each day is infinitely better than the last, even if it’s a bad day. For example my article “Punched-Kicked-Kneed-Knocked Out and Today is Still a Great Day.” I’ve had bad days just because it was cloudy, but to be nearly disabled temporarily (for 4 days) and still be having the time of my life is a surreal experience.
Remember! It also applies that your age as mentioned before does not physically exist, it is simply a measurement of your existence in comparison to how many times the earth has gone around the sun; nothing more. It is every bit as impossible to be old as it is to be young, as long as you never compare yourself to another person you will never be old.
š Until Death Did They Part
“It’s not the things you did that you regret when laying on your deathbed, it’s the things you didn’t do.” ~ Unknown
All of us have things we have done, things we are doing, things we want to do, and things we’ve never done. While our capitalistic society places heavy emphasis upon making contributions to society, the fact of the matter who you are and what you have done spanning your life really is of no more or less value than what anyone else has ever done. The only exceptions to this rule is when those actions have a direct positive effect upon the lives of those you influence, and ideally continue to exist long after you have passed.
But it’s worth clarifying that this is no measurement of moralistic judgment that there is a ‘right’ thing to do and a ‘wrong’ thing to do. You might support the LGBT community all your life and leave behind a charitable organization and prevent hundreds of LGBT teens from committing suicide, but at the same time there are many religious groups and conservative communities that would damn you, expect god to send you to hell, etc. When dealing with type of society, when deciding what is the ‘right’ thing to do can be daunting; it makes it seem you can’t please anyone or can’t satisfy everyone.
When it all comes down to it, no matter what any of us do in life, the legacy we leave behind, good or bad, what matters is that we support life on a fundamental level, ideally unbiased whether it’s human or non-human. To do so can make a huge difference; even if the cause is small, the effect can be quite large in comparison.
Few people can argue against giving complements, free hugs upon request, support and understanding, or even just listening to what they have to say without interruption. The opportunities for outreach and education is limitless, especially now with the advent of the internet and the future mediums that even today we can’t even dream of.
Even before our time there have been many people who’ve done a lot to contribute to human civilization on as many levels as they possibly can. Many of these names you may recognize, many of them you may not. But it goes without saying, with all of their wealth, or the lack of, they have all left intellectual contributions, organizations and charities, as well as fortunes, educations, and improved foundations for human interactions.
Napoleon Hill
· “Every adversity carries with it the seed of an equivalent or greater benefit.” ~ Napoleon Hill
What that quote means when taken to heart, is that every negative aspect of your life has the potential to be one of the best things to ever exist; contributing to your success and happiness. It took me a few months to really understand it myself but now I’m sure I know how and why it works.
For example Napoleon Hill’s son, he was born without ears, not even a hole in the skull where the organ would physically exist. For all intensive purposes it was safe to assume the his son was deaf and would forever be deaf; even the doctors told him that. But Napoleon Hill being the man who developed the core fundamental foundation for wealth and success in any aspect of ones life didn’t even let it cross his mind that this was something bad.
As his son grew up, rather than be put in schools for deaf children, he went to normal schools, he was put in those environments so he wouldn’t be treated differently. He was encouraged by his father to take advantage of the fact he had no ears. In one case he borrowed a few cents for newspapers, sold them at a hire price because people were willing to pay more to help the kid with no ears, repaid his loan, and walked home with a significant profit.
As it turned out, as he grew older he could hear, and after developing that hearing and talking to his son, telling positive stories to encourage his son, his son developed 60% of normal hearing. With the advent of hearing aids, most of which have failed him in the past, he encountered one that worked for him so great it brought this person born without ears to having 100% normal hearing.
As a result he went on to work with the company that made the hearing aid, gave speeches at centers for deaf individuals, and turned his ‘disabillity’ into one of the greatest contributors to his fortune and success in life all the while helping those who also faced the same challenges he did.
In my personal situation I’m going to be using my background as a transgender person to be my greatest asset. Many individuals of my background are stuck worrying about life, worrying about being accepted, getting kicked out, relationships falling apart, being fired and/or discriminated, and even committing suicide being that transgender individuals are the #1 group of individuals most likely to commit suicide. I’ve been there myself. But my plans in life call on my experience and expertise in gender issues, psychology, and behavior to improve the lives of as many people as I possibly can as well.
For many individuals like me, much like those who are deaf, blind, addicts, prisoners, homeless, any form of minority, abused, neglected, etc they are stuck in a world that is less than perfect. Filled with anxieties, frustrations, fears, depression, etc, their adversity is their cause of misery. They of course want to get rid of that adversity or want it to go away, I was there myself. But when I realized that my adversity could be used to make my life better, it was if I was no longer trying to fight gravity in my attempt to fly!
Things just became so much easier! Why get blown away by wind when you can use it to fly?
· “If you cannot do great things, do small things in a great way” ~ Napoleon Hill
If I know of any examples of this, I would say the best would be the free hugs movement. Whether at public places by random strangers, or at conventions where it is a popular activity to ask and give hugs to other convention goers, the ability for something as simple as a hug to explode into such a cultural movement it really is amazing. And all it is, is sucking up that pride and leaving your anxieties at home, and hug a person you don’t know.
The most hugs I gave in one day was probably close to 100 if not more, none of them were given or received by people I knew, some of them were in a bad mood for whatever reason and I helped them feel better. Sometimes those hugs by strangers on that same day made me feel better when I wasn’t so thrilled to give hugs. After that experience that day I go around public in every day life wearing a sign on my chest that says “I give free hugs”, and upon request I give them. And without fail they make my day a lot better when I give one. It’s also worth noting I’ve never been mugged, assaulted, threatened, or groped in any way.
So for any effect you have on the world around you, if you can’t change the world at once, change it one town, community, or person at a time. Even in this day and age there are a lot of places that really don’t change, if you see a place where you can have a positive effect, by all means go for it!
· “If you do not conquer self, you will be conquered by self” ~ Napoleon Hill
This one goes back to your adversities you face, if you cannot conquer them you will be conquered by them. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been there in just the first 20 years of my life, let alone people who are still there in their 40’s, 60’s and 80’s.
In reality if you cannot conquer any aspect of yourself nothing in this entire newsletter, or anything I or anyone writes will ever be of help to you. In retrospect, the huge slap in the face I got spanning 3 months of my life up until August 20th 2007 was the biggest wakeup call I could have ever gotten about this in my life. It was a horrible situation to be in, and in reality, it doesn’t take such a massive event to force such change for you to stand up and knock out those aspects of yourself that get in your way of enjoying life at any age.
Ways to influence this change, a simple change of habit, a change of perspective much like any of the ones mentioned in this article, or changing your environment in any way. One of the biggest effects anyone can have on their own lives is canceling their cable and satellite service, sticking to only movies, ideally selling any videogames they have or stop playing them.
A quote I know of goes as such: “TV is very educational, whenever someone turns it on, I go into the other room and read a book.” Since I stopped watching mine, and stopped playing videogames, to as much as 1 hour per week at the most, it had a huge positive effect on my life. Try it.
When I’m “old” if I ever see myself as such, you can bet I won’t be watching any TV, unlike my grandma who spends most of her remaining years watching Matlock, Wheel of Fortune, Jeopardy, and whatever else.
Andrew Carnegie
· “Anything in life worth having is worth working for!” ~ Andrew Carnegie
While the secret to becoming rich isn’t working hard, but rather working efficiently, it goes without saying that if you want something you must take action regardless of how much work is involved to obtain it. If you are in your elder years, you likely know this all too well, especially if you’re from the industrial age when success = hard work. Unfortunately that’s not exactly true to this day, but the fundamental is the same, regardless of your age, if you want something there is a point you must stop complaining and start doing.
· “As I grow older, I pay less attention to what men say. I just watch what they do.” ~ Andrew Carnegie
This has become something of a hobby of mine. Andrew Carnegie has another quote along the lines that he doesn’t believe in god, he believes in patriotism, that if you teach a person to be a good citizen you take care of the problems of life automatically. While not quite that simple the statement is accurate, and everything including religion, education, peers, parents, etc are all suppose to contribute to those people to become good citizens, it doesn’t always quite work out like that.
Most of it is due in part to our use of moralistic judgment in defining what is ‘good’ and ‘bad’ to begin with. But on a fundamental level, all you need to do is look at what the person does without moralistic judgment and see who they are.
While one of my friend’s friend is scared to come to California from Washington state without owning a gun and carrying it in her purse at all times, I live in Los Angeles California and give out free hugs to random strangers, help them jump their cars, donate my recyclables to the poor/homeless dumpster divers, pet sit for them, etc.
Your actions define who you are and how the environment responds to you.
Dale Carnegie
· “Life is truly a boomerang. What you give, you get back.” ~ Dale Carnegie
As mentioned in my last statement under Andrew Carnegie, cause and effect exist in human interactions as well. Carry a gun in your purse, and you’re going to treat everyone like they’re going to shoot you, they in turn will treat you like you should be shot.
And just to get it out of the way, those of you who don’t know, Andrew Carnegie and Dale Carnegie aren’t related. Andrew was the richest man of the 19th century, he co-founded the Carnegie Mellon University that Randy Pousch taught at, and contributed to countless charities and created his own foundations buildings. Dale Carnegie is a famous author of the 20th century most notable for his book “How to Win Friends and Influence People” to which all of his writings place great emphasis of perfecting people skills and relationships, as well as founding his own training programs for business development, sales, relations, public speaking, and more.
Of course by no means do you need to do that much. In fact it would be a safe bet to say the best contributions to the world both human and non-human never get published anywhere. If all you needed to do to be guaranteed smiles from people around you was to give an honest brilliant smile to them, wouldn’t that be worth it?
A lot of people try to do too much all at once, this is where it comes back to the quote “If you cannot do great things, do small things in a great way”. It really is simple, live with integrity, be sincere, don’t be moralistically judgmental, and when you see someone who needs something, give it to them without hesitation. Love for a fellow human being doesn’t warrant a weapon of self defense, nor does it call for unconditional unbiased love. All it requires is honesty, sincerity, and integrity.
As an experienced marshal artist, I can tell you in my personal experience your weapons of defense fallow this order.
1. Your skills in human interaction and communications. All in all your PR skills.
2. Your physical ability to manipulate and control the situation with physical actions
3. Your immediate available resources that can be accessed in less than 3 seconds.
At best you are guaranteed a 50/50 chance of having your chosen weapon of self defense available in a moment you need it. I carry a knife on me for work related purposes, it’s always on my hip, out in the open with all my keys and some other things. I have that with me more than my wallet, yet when I was confronted at my front door by a man with a gun complaining about the noise in my apartment, who was likely intoxicated as well, my knife wasn’t within 10 feet of me.
I had to rely on my PR skills so I immediately came across as non threatening, catered to his needs and assured him whenever possible. But immediately I sized him up, his locations, my physical capabilities to manipulate the situation should it require physical action, and once I knew how physically capable I was I then took count of all the resources I had available, the only one I had was my front door.
All in all the situation was handled perfectly fine, I shook hands with the man and he calmly left, no further action was needed on my part. So with that in mind, no matter who/what you are at any age, be sincere, honest, and have integrity.
· People rarely succeed unless they have fun in what they are doing. ~ Dale Carnegie
It’s safe to say it goes without saying if you are not having fun, you are not alive, if you are not alive you might as well be dead, whether you’re 10 or 110.
There’s actually an article out there by a scientist well versed in the medical industry who got Mesothelioma, a form of cancer caused by asbestos asked Sir Peter Medawar, a scientific guru and a Nobelist in immunology. “What the best prescription for success against cancer might be?” Medawar responded "A sanguine personality."
In the end the 8 month death sentence he was given for his cancer lasted 20 years ultimately to be killed by a separate unrelated cancer. Leave it to a medical guy not to trust the medical books and statistics on the issue, confirming the entire foundation of the movie Patch Adams that happiness really is the best medicine. And happiness comes from fun, laughter, excitement, new and interactive experiences that give you meaning in your life to live in the first place.
Here is an article from that man if you are curious. You might want to forward it to anyone who has cancer who you know.
Short:
http://tinyurl.com/5yvjljOriginal:
http://download.srv.cs.cmu.edu/~pausch/news/medianNotMessage.htmlAlso if you don’t know the movie Patch Adams, it’s worth watching
http://www.patchadams.com/“Don’t worry, be happy. Be happy now woo!!!!” Bobby McFerrin
W. Clement Stone
· “Regardless of who you are or what you have been, you can be what you want to be.” W. Clement Stone
This applies regardless of age, race, gender, intelligence, circumstances etc. Cornel Sanders did it, the 70+ year old what’s-his-face who won an academy award did it, 10 year olds have done it, and more. A forty-one year old Olympic swimmer with a little girl did it. You’ll like her story if you read this far into this newsletter.
http://tinyurl.com/chuanthttp://www.momlogic.com/2009/04/dara_torres_age_is_just_a_number.phphttp://www.usatoday.com/sports/olympics/beijing/swimming/2008-07-07-torres-fans_N.htmTake Nike’s quote to heart and “Just do it”
· “Success is achieved and maintained by those who try and keep trying.” ~ W. Clement Stone
This applies to that if you do “just do it” you have to keep doing it. I like the quote out there that goes as such “If you try 100 times, you might miss 99% of the time, but if you never you never try, then you’re guaranteed to miss 100% of the time.” For this subject I recommend this video.
http://tinyurl.com/crk7a9http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=obdd31Q9PqA&feature=channel_pageThe fact of the matter is you are the one who defines your own limitations, if you feel your age is a limitation, or your gender, ethnicity, disability, adversity, challenge, habits, or anything else is a limit, then that’s something that thought is what is going to hold you back. There are no exceptions to that rule. The angel of death knows no bias, neither do the angels of success, happiness, fulfillment, nor any other angel of life. They’re all waiting for you to come to them, what are you waiting for?
R. Buckminster Fuller
· “Don't fight forces, use them.” ~ Buckminster Fuller
Just like flying, don’t fight the wind, use it. Just like water, don’t fight it, surf it. Just like humans, don’t fight them, work with them. Anyone who has taken the Japanese martial arts Aikido or Judo knows this well. A person runs at you, step out of the way or grab them and fall backwards throwing them over you with the foot.
With age, it’s safe to say mostly everyone fights it. They don’t want wrinkles, they don’t want to be old, they don’t want this or that or some large number reflecting who they are or their social status… etc. While there is no physical way you can use age to your benefit, at least non that I can think of because in reality it doesn’t exist outside some measurement, the entire ‘force’ that is age can be completely nullified if you accept it doesn’t exist and is not a factor.
With such a powerful force of one’s life completely gone as if it were some fear of something that didn’t exist, it can prove to be a huge weight off one’s shoulders. Much like a child who no longer fears the Boogieman or monsters in the closet; for most of us ‘grown ups’ our age is the monster in the closet.
· “There is no such thing as a genius, just some were damaged less.” ~ Buckminster Fuller
And there is nothing to say you can’t fix that damage, I do it in myself and in others in writing these newsletters. I was always with the group of people who believe everyone is a genius, and to some extent I still am, but this quote better reflects my perspective of it in that it suggests over time we have become inoperable, dysfunctional if you will. Limited, molded, categorized, shamed, put down, etc.
There is more to intelligence than book smarts, there are infinite fields of capabilities where one is able. Expression and ownership of that particular field, or maybe many fields, are what give you room to grow, expand, and thrive.
Thomas Edison
· “When a man dies, if he can pass enthusiasm along to his children, he has left them an estate of incalculable value.” ~ Thomas Edison
And I feel there is a lot to that. When Randy Pousch died he left three children and a lot of friends and students he has ever taught. While his children are far too young to remember too much about him personally, I’m sure through his books, lectures, and interviews he will leave them far more than what any will could ever grant.
We all will pass in time, some sooner than later, some far later than sooner, some rich, most poor, and anywhere in between we all have the capacity within ourselves to not leave family and peers in a state of turmoil as long as we express that we care. I know I’m certainly not on good terms with my family, but I know the capacity is there, and with or without them, I myself will ensure anything I do and leave behind whether alive or dead will be in a brighter more enthusiastic light than it was before.
You might not leave a dime, you might have no family, or a long future, you might be the most cynical person in the world, but no matter what you are capable of leaving something of worth; even if it’s just an idea.
If we did all the things we are capable of, we would literally astound ourselves ~ Thomas Edison
For those of thus who are still alive however, there is no line drawn anywhere that says “This is where your limit is.” And there is nothing to suggest that line cannot be crossed should someone be foolish enough to draw lines; anyone who ever has, has had that line stepped over time and again. We tend to draw our own lines boxing ourselves in with our own ‘limitations’; age being one of them. If you can stop drawing lines that limit what you are capable of, ignore the lines others have drawn, and just go for it, you will astound yourself.
Maturity is often more absurd than youth and very frequently is most unjust to youth.
Going back to “Being a Kid Vs Being a Grown Up” section as I mentioned before how seeing ourselves in the light of being a grown up, or an adult, we put ourselves in positions of ignorance rather than openness. And in turn we expect others to hold themselves to the same standards we set for ourselves. Leave it to a guy went down in history with the brightest ideas of the 20th century and a pile of junk to suggest we stop being so strict in our ‘maturity’ and critical of the youth for whose imagination we have long since lost ourselves.
While we might attribute this behavior to being to soft, easy, negligent, etc… Don’t forget people in his day lived by the blisters on their hands working much harder than we do today. If anything our existence and what to do today are just more confusing than they were back then.
Frederick Williamson
· “The longer I live, the more certain I am that enthusiasm is the little recognized key to success.” ~ Frederick Williamson
And after passing away leaving only enthusiasm, you might have just left them such a key to their future success. And it is certainly one that is over looked far too much. Speaking from personal experience I might only be able to recall a few instances when I was actually enthusiastic about something at school. And usually it revolved around P.E (Physical Education). Maybe history would be worth my time if it were taught during a gym activity and relevant to what I needed to know then. Rather than sitting at a desk all day long staring at the same chalk board or book. Can you recall any instances where your peers who were something of your guardian to the future, to educate, encourage and protect you have left you feeling stupid for not knowing better, discouraged and challenged, and fearful of punishment? I know I had all those feelings when dragged out by cops from school.
While something a person says, does, or believes might not be in our own personal self interests, we cannot let our idealism get in the way of their growth and potential. Otherwise we will only condemn, blame, ridicule and insult them all the while casting them in a mold they were not made to fill. It really is amazing how far a little pat on the back with ‘Good job!’ can do to bring forth a person’s enthusiasm for something they have done, and improve the chances of it being repeated or even enhanced beyond expectation. And that sort of positive mental attitude in anything you really do really is the most important key to success in anything you do, enthusiasm for what you do is only a part of that.
š “I Think, Therefore I am!”
When all is said and done if you skipped the entire newsletter on the topic of age, the fundamental issue is you are what you think. If you think you are old, you will be and/or are already old, with that old age disabilities, poor health, physical limits, laziness, close minded ignorance, and resistance to change. I can’t tell you how many times people limit themselves to what they think of themselves as, and never experience life beyond that self reflection. The very fact of my existence as a woman to this day is all due in part to my constant thinking that I am at heart in mind, body, and soul, a beautiful young woman. If my thoughts can change my gender, there is nothing to say your thoughts can’t change your age, health, weight, longevity, happiness, love, and far, far, far more.
You might say the very existence of human civilization is the thought of ourselves as more than just another animal.
Your age is nothing but a number that reflects how many times you have gone around the sun, how old you are does not exist beyond how old you think you are, your age does not physically exist outside of mathematical measurements. You are not condemned to mediocrity because you are either too old or too young, beauty is not a reflection of age, your age is not a reflection of beauty. You have all the power and capacity within yourself to change the course of your entire life at the drop of a hat, or and turn on a dime. Any line that has ever been drawn defining the limit of human potential has always been crossed and forever will be as humans exist. You have the power yourself to cross any line of limitation drawn before you at will. Look in the mirror, tell yourself how awesome you are, and always give yourself the credit you deserve.
It’s your choice to be a kid or a grown up, and to choose to be a Tigger or an Eeyore.
