Remrie Arrie – Success Newsletter – Date: 2/14/09
Sephroe@hotmail.com www.Sephroe.spaces.live.com
Writing and Illustrations © by Remrie Arrie
Introduction
Foundation – A base for which an object is built and/or stands on.
Seems pretty simple enough why continue forward? Maybe it’s because there are more types of foundations than simply a slab of concrete on the ground for your house. While you may live in a home built upon a sturdy foundation, what about the family inside of it?
How solid is the foundation of the family?
How solid are the relation between each person?
How solid is the foundation of each person?
How solid is the foundation of your life?
What events have shaken up the foundations of the family and/or completely broke it?
What about your work place, or your company if you own one?
How solid is the foundation between the relationships of employees?
How stable is the work environment?
How strong is the management?
What event rocked the work place around and created times of uncertainty? (recessions)
What about your education?
How solid are your grades?
How level and consistent are you at performing the assignments and homework?
How strong is your focus on your assignments?
What about your financial foundation?
How balanced is your financial statement?
How weak or strong is your income?
How strong is your financial foundation that it simply doesn’t wash away on a rainy day?
How solid is it and can it with-stand sudden emergency?
How much time do you find yourself patching holes and cutting back?
This is where many people have cracks that soon turn into huge gaps that can potentially split everything. It splits the family when resources become scarce, splits the relationships when stress builds, is cause for stress and worry at work, and can keep people from ever going to school.
Like a ship that takes on water everyone finds themselves scrambling to grab the nearest bucket and start scooping water. But what if before you set sail you knew how to not only build a titanic, but also to drive it well set out on a course through the tropics where no iceberg may roam?
Those questions and many more are all valid questions to ask about yourself and the environment around you. If you feel as though there is room to improve, or you are already well versed in the art of creating a foundation and you wish to continue reinforcing it.
Subject: “Foundations”
š Life Without a Foundation
What would become of anything without a foundation? Well, when you think about it everything in some way or form has a system in place that keeps it in check. Solar systems are held together by gravity, planets are supported by gravity, natural structures of landscape are supported by the planet, and so too buildings are built upon the earth. Species are supported by natural selection and the other species around them, individuals supported by their relationships with others in their communities, fish in water, bugs on water, primates in trees, birds on air.
There is a law of foundations that anything and everything can be used to support a structure, conversely anything and everything can tear it down. Depending on what an object is supported by can and will be destroyed by the opposing forces. A black hole in the universe thrashes entire galaxies, the explosion of a star sends chaos among the planets, the planets lose their foundation on the star and the environment loses it’s foundation upon the planet.
Such an event liken to a single event in your life that would otherwise destroy the entire foundation of your life. You become a quadriplegic, your lover and/or children die, the economy tanks, natural disaster strikes, you’re kidnapped and/or held hostage, etc.
Conversely by default everything has a foundation the moment it is created for a infant it would be the parents. While no foundation is 100% stable because of the ever changing environment, the environment in turn offers infinite supply of resources to use as a foundation to protect against such changes, and to make sure nothing stays the same forever, the environment offers an infinite supply resources to break down outdated structures.
š Life With a Foundation
In the human world to have a solid foundation is to be in homeostasis, a sustainable state for which nothing changes and exists in harmony. This is having income twice the cost of your expenses, ample amounts of free time, interactions with loved ones, freedom to be flexible and change as needed, having meaning morals and ethics, having peer support, having ample amounts of resources for both needs and wants.
For all intensive purposes a solid foundation in human society is liken to that of being rich and successful. But in reality the rules that govern wealth and success for billionaires are the same rules that govern the poor and middle class. The only difference is on the individual level one might not have as much influence. But if one has a solid foundation to build upon, no amount of influence from the wealthy, government, relationships, etc can tear it down.
Conversely any company that loses their foundation is destined to collapse if caught off guard.
š Traditional Foundations
On the individual level there are the basic foundations our lives are build upon are Family, Friends, School, Chores/Work, Sports, and Art.
Beyond that though it’s relatively the same, the only difference is for most of us by default we are taught to use the same foundation as our parents and peers, while their system may have worked for them, it won’t work the same way for the next person. The key trait among the ‘successful’ in any term is that they have over time built their own foundation independent of their parents and peers to suit their own needs. They still fallow the same format, but they might choose to modify/replace their entire family and friends, chose to do chores and work that promotes the skills they want, perform physical activities to stimulate the mind and body, and express their creativity in a way that promotes their own cause rather than the cause of their peers.
- Family
By default at birth we are born upon the foundation of our parents and supported by the rest of the family as we come of age and grow to obtain more independence. One of the most basic foundations on a evolutionary scale it transcends species of all walks of life. With all it’s power it has to be respected and acknowledged as imperfect because the foundations of previous generations would be incompatible with the modern era. Likewise as parents ourselves we have to respect that no two buildings can share the same foundation and whatever direction one chooses to go they will have their own fundamental needs.
- Friends
As we grow older we start to replace and fill in the gaps of our foundation that the family does not provide or is simply incompatible by filling our lives with friends who may become so strong they are just as powerful as our family and are just as supportive. These individuals give one meaning and support to develop and reinforce such a foundation that one doesn’t have to work alone.
Anyone can build a house, but to build it alone and live in it would never make it a home without others in some way shape or form.
As time goes on, just like with building a house, some friends may be specialized in only one area, maybe they’re only good at pouring concrete, after a while friends come and go and it has to be recognized that some individuals can only do so much for us, not everyone is a building contractor. As time goes one, once we have such a foundation build and continue beyond it we will find our network of friends changing.
The key to those successful in any field is that they always associate with like-minded individuals at the stages of their development they are at, as well as have a few people who are a little further along and/or more experienced to help plan their future. People who lack success are often dragged back by friends who want to stay on the team but no longer serve a purpose, they’re great people but at this point they become a emotional personal drag preventing future progress by keeping one tied to where they are.
“Oh you don’t want to move across the country” (Persuasion)
“What are you thinking getting into such a dangerous field?” (Conflict)
“You can do all that right here, you don’t need move” (Negotiation)
“If you move away I’ll miss you” (Guilt)
“What if something happens?” (Fear)
- School
In school we are taught the basic education to get us the skills we need to function in society. Many of the most basic fundamental needs are reading, writing, cooperating, learning modern technologies and more. Manny schools do a great job teaching those and more, others…. Not so much to say the least.
While schools might place a lot of emphasis on remembering what happened Oct 25 6425BC, if you’re like me it might serve no purpose to creating a solid foundation to grow through life. But to your history teacher that date might mean everything to them. Just like our parents and friends, our teachers also influence us with their opinion of what our foundation in life would be. As we all know when it comes to application and sustainability such novelty information doesn’t prove of much use to anyone.
But being able to read, type, write, spell, learn other languages, work together, network, learning balance sheets and financial statements, learning how to drive, use tools, cook, fitness, help others, use modern technology and work independently and even learning how to learn are all EXTREMELY important keys to one’s personal success. Most other subjects from there on are virtually irrelevant to anyone who doesn’t have interest in that chosen field.
While schools may not let a student pick what they learn, when it comes to building your own foundation, learning what you need to know that interests you and is in line with your beliefs is what is going to have the most dramatic positive effect. Which is why when we’re in college, and study information on our own time as you may be doing right now, we develop our foundation of education to become strong and secure.
But to teach such a thing to others like I am doing now for you will cause you to learn much more than if you never teach others.
- Religion
Obviously one of the more touchy subjects out there it goes both ways, religious people depending on the religion believe evolution takes away people’s reason to live, to strive for something better in the eyes of godly peers. Liken to family, friends, and teachers such gods would also give such a format to the follower.
Conversely on the evolutionary side, much like with the rebel teen rejecting the views of the parents and teachers because they have a radical difference of foundation between their life and the other they need the freedom and flexibility to create their own life without the laws and social restrictions of religion.
Both of the sides on a fundamental level are both correct and both interconnected which makes the point of arguing moot, but that wouldn’t be acceptable in western cultures with binary formats of thinking (right/wrong, male/female, rich/poor, smart/dumb pure/evil religious/atheist etc.)
In reality both are extremely valid but no uniform system could ever fit everyone… While individuals need the freedom and flexibility to form their own foundation and standards of their life to support a strong future for themselves, they need those peers in their life to give them the support and reason of guidance with influence to keep someone on the right path in life and out of trouble. But these people don’t need to be gods; they can be friends, role models, imaginary friends, cartoon characters, lovers, or even one’s self.
For me personally my primary foundation in life is myself, as long as I’m alive I will stand strong. While others might believe gods created them, whether a person is religious or not if one doesn’t believe in themselves then they do not believe in what their god creates. The day I become a parent I want my child to believe in themselves more than me, and by working together I would bless my child with all my guidance and care. I’m not religious but I believe any deity of their children would feel the same. When I believed in my dad (my god) more than myself no amount of praying to him would answer my prayers. But one way or another he was always there and so would such a god.
We all have to have our influences by others, humans thrive off of each other, but we also need the flexibility to experiment and create new systems for the modern era in line with our own morals and ethics. The morals and ethics of people 2000+ years ago can be so radically different they’d have no application to such a modern world where people can communicate thousands of miles away.
- Chores (work)
This is definitely a very important foundation to have in life on any level, nobody likes a spoiled brat yet at the same time we all want to be one. Having a well developed foundation of ‘work’ consisting of cognitive skills that are needed to be well diverse, experienced, and independent are extremely important; especially in the Information Age where businesses care less for your education and previous experience, and more about what you are fully capable of doing without question.
Conversely this one can be grossly over emphasized by individuals, peer groups, and sometimes a entire society. Two great examples yet very similar in format are Scott Young’s book “How to Change a Habit” and “7 Habits of Highly Effective People” by Steven Covey. By Scott Young it’s sharpening the axe, by Steven Covey it’s ‘sharpening the saw’. You can be the strongest hardest worker in the world but you must balance work with efficiency. You can work as long and hard as you want chopping down a tree with a blunt axe/saw, but it’s not going to happen.
Many people out there are coming to understand that in the modern era where after 20 years of working the same job long and hard their best friend now laid off is replaced by a robot and the other jobs are going over-seas. Many feel it’s only a matter of time before all jobs are shipped away and one faces being laid off while their earnings and hard work don’t bring them enough to even retire comfortably.
There is a definite requirement to have a solid foundation built upon work experience and what one is capable of doing in labor, but with work experience there has to be without exception a strong focus on working efficiently. With this comes working in groups, working independently when needed, being able to think on your feet, take action, refine systems, compensate for inconsistencies, time management, and more. Working hard is more than working 3 jobs with a baby on the way, cramming for finals, paying debts, etc.
- Sports
Often times this is the most neglected aspect of building a solid foundation, particularly for women who don’t come from a family involved in various sports; cheer leading at best, some dances, that’s about as far as it goes. But hey I’m not knocking any one of those as a martial arts professional there are girls smaller than me who can kick my ass and have fun doing it. Conversely on the male side this one might be over developed on many levels depending on the activities one is involved with. Many traditional coaches who focus more on sport and winning drilling high-school students into the ground to win regional are likely to be left disappointed or heavily grounded in just one field, or even worst in just one concept… WIN!!!! Or continually focus on other concepts that just ruin everything for everyone.
I don’t have a direct link to the articles and schools an coaches names, but it wasn’t long before the date of this article’s publication that on MSN, Yahoo, and TV media stations highlighted a story of a women’s basketball game between two schools finished 100 to 0. I watched the videos, read the articles, and was absolutely fascinated by this story on many levels. While some were praising, others were scolding, I was learning and I learned a lot which I expect to share here.
This is a prime example of the two extremes of Good to Bad of sports, and many other activities. On one side you had a coach at a smaller school teaching basketball to girls who had nothing more than a interest in learning and building team and group relationships and applying it in real events. Most of these girls are not great players if any at all, they’re not the most athletic, and all around average these girls lost the match with zero points and the coach couldn’t be more proud of them. On the other side you have the more traditional school coach focused on winning and devising strategies and creating attitudes in students to win matches and accept that losing is likely not an option, sometimes these coaches can be cold and brutal; I’ve had a few of them in my day as well. The team consisted of much more professional and accomplished girls skill and physical wise, much more coordinated and professional, like many they’re out to beat the pros and prove they got what it takes to win and they did by 100 points.
Now this isn’t to bash one side or another, players of both sides deserve far more credit in their abilities and achievements and attitudes more than coaches do. But certainly such coaches have a great influence over how a group of individuals think, much like the leaders of our world. I obviously favor the coach of the losing team over the one that one, but that is beside the point.
What ended up happening was after the public outcry over the event the coach of the winning team ended up sending a formal apology to the other team and the two came to acknowledge one another on two common grounds that sports provide as a fundamental foundation. The ability to focus and work hard and apply yourself towards personal development and be a winner and never give up, the other focus and work with others cooperatively, enthusiastically, on and have fun realizing that it’s only a game.
While there are two extremes of social opinions forged from the event the entire fundamental foundation of sports as a whole is what prevailed in that event more than anything. When people go beyond the limits, it crashed down to the fundamentals, always.
Myself personally, up until recently my life was founded mostly upon sports, 90% of my life was sport related. Soccer, skating, bike riding, some gymnastics up until the age of 10 plus rock climbing, hiking, tree climbing, pole vaulting, track, 7 years Tae Kwon Do, football, and several other miscellaneous sports up until age 20. That and art made up the last 10%. Because of that I personally comprehend and understand the value of physical activities as a fundamental foundation in someone’s life, especially since I come from Illinois, the only state that mandates P.E in every grade level up to grade 12 (senior year age 18 depending)
Conversely I know very well from personal experience that if sports makes up the vast majority of a person’s foundation then they are doomed to failure in the real world. Additionally I’ve seen individuals who don’t have any foundation in the area of sports and such individuals face a wide range of health, personal, and social problems as a result. Health from obesity bad habits of laziness, etc, personal problems with self confidence, coordination, adaptability, and social problems with working in teams, productivity, goal setting, commitment in what might be a uncontrolled and/or wild environments.
- Art
You have heard the phrase ‘starving artist’ correct? It probably goes without saying that individuals focused on art as much as I was in sports know nothing else in life and get by doing what they love but under very stressful terms if they never make it big. Even if they do, without the foundations in other areas they are likely to fall instantly.
A person without any foundation upon art would likely face problems with lack of creativity, inability to comprehend descriptive visualizations, lack of attention to detail, and inability to manipulate freely in one’s mind and/or in the physical world.
Art is both over emphasized and grossly unrecognized on both extremes quite often. As a foundation it isn’t as important on its own in the sense of education and personal development, but there is a real art to everything, particularly when you get good at it. Have you ever heard someone say ‘There is an art to it’, what that means is when you really apply yourself to a task sooner or later you encounter the art aspect of it; and there is a art to everything.
There is an art to your family, there is an art to your friends, there is an art to your peers, school, religion, work, sport, there is an art to art! There is an art to everything! Because of that it cannot be neglected because sooner or later we are going to be challenged in the art of what we do and having a solid foundation set in art will prepare us ahead of time.
There is even an art to building a foundation, if you’re not creative enough to work with something so freeform, something so abstract, something so omnipresent, it will escape you mentally. When it does it will escape you in reality.
- Summary
In summary with our youth and with ourselves we have to create a solid foundation, as a peer to others while offering our advice to others we must also give them the freedom and flexibility to make their own foundation for their own purposes in life. This is where people feel others are imposing their beliefs, whether the intensions are good or not it’s not always applicable.
Likewise with all this information I hope I provide you with plenty of insight to help you create and reinforce your own foundation. Feel no pressure, take with it what you will and whenever you need to change or strengthen your foundation this resource will be available for future reference.
But this is not the end by any means, a foundation is more than a slab of concrete as I’ve said, all the above has only been an intro into the different sections of a foundation and how they apply in our lives.
If you feel like something is missing, it is likely to be Financial, a financial foundation is also very key, but it cannot created without creating the entire solid foundation before hand. In terms of a building it would be wiser to see it as the fallowing floors there-after. As a building grows taller, so do the financials, likewise as you grow as a person so will your financials, but without everything else such money would not serve any purpose. Hence the saying ‘money cannot buy happiness’, but it does hold value on a whole development scale so don’t ignore it. In future newsletters and resources I provide I expect to share with you everything you will need to build your financials.
š Starting a Foundation
With all that in mind we can now move forward knowing in what ways we can benefit from the traditional foundations listed above; family, friends, school, work, religion, sports, and art. By no means do I say that’s all there is and that everything fallows a uniform system. A foundation is only as strong as it is built, if a flat cement slab is all you need in life that’s great. Others might need a big hole in the ground with lots of frame work. Some people might need to build their entire foundation into series of tetrahedrons (pyramids)
The more variant your lifestyle is from the norm, the more your needs will vary to build a solid foundation. Be creative and open minded and ask yourself ‘How does (or can) this support my needs in life?’ The food you eat is very much a part of your foundation, so is your clothing, environment, lifestyle, habits, etc.
For everyone starting from scratch I recommend the “7 Habits of Highly Effective People” by Steven Covey as well as “Think and Grow Rich” by Napoleon Hill.
- Retaining Walls
Every foundation needs a framework, reinforcement, regular maintenance, and needs to be stable and consistent. The framework for a solid foundation is a balanced foundation of the above traditional foundations that suits your individual need, consistent effort to make sure your life doesn’t branch of beyond your foundation, constant maintenance of damage caused by our environment and peers, and habits that keep everything in line and on track.
Natural and deliberate ware and tear occurs naturally throughout one’s life, age, health, emotions, sorrow, etc erodes away the foundation like a heavy downpour, and people deliberately vandalize our foundations through insults, aggression, anger, etc.
To use the example of a project my dad was working on, when he built a house he built it into the hill. That has many benefits and provides lots of protection and natural support from the world around the house to protect it from tornados and bad weather. Much like a person would build their life immersed deep into their friends, family, work, or some other category, using the natural benefits provided to protect them from the world around.
Such actions require retaining walls of dirt bulldozed away to keep everything from caving it, yet done properly provides a lot of security and comfort and lots of protection. Girls often get placed in such situations or chose them themselves by being fully immersed in the family, or dependent on a spouse, etc. What happens if this isn’t done properly, if there is no retaining wall or a poorly built one, it much like my dad’s retaining wall for the house collapsed.
When that happens everything that once supported and protected the house (or you) has now collapsed inward and creates such a huge mess that it cannot be cleaned up. People in such a situation either put up with it and live in the house with a fallen retaining wall and are at risk of future collapse, or pick up and move away and start all over. People who run away might find themselves fleeing from such a mess, I personally did that myself. Fortunately it wasn’t long before I found my security to start anew, but others aren’t so fortunate.
The very existence of this new letter is a product of the new framework I’m building to ensure that I never experience such a problem again. Only now I live in California it must be up to California’s requirements and building code. (pun intended)
- Faults
Faults in foundations and retaining walls in our lives are pretty easy to spot, they just come in our daily language.
Advertisement: “Ever feel like the world is caving in on you?” If yes à Retaining wall
Advertisement: “Ever feel like everything falls out from under you?” à Foundation
In reality the two do have distinct feelings really, with practice you can really tell the difference. From age 10 to 20 I dug myself into such a hole I literally felt like everything was caving in on myself, but that was my ditch to protect me from the world and I knew no matter what I couldn’t fall any further in life, but I was scared to death of being buried alive by the world around me.
On the flip side since I’ve been building my foundation and starting anew myself, I’ve been creating everything so fast and so well I started to build upwards but whether out of fear, or out of a real risk of collapse I decided to pull back and focus more on my foundation. I was feeling like everything was going to fall out from under me; but I have no worry of being buried like before.
What leads to such collapses are the result of people who put you down, people who try to get you to do other things, people who have influence over what you do, the environment you build your life in, bad choices you make, habits that degenerate your life, natural pressures like gravity, weather, disasters, etc.
š Resources Needed
The resources needed to build a solid foundation in your life should be provided in my Success File, anywhere else they will be greatly scattered around the web and fragmented and/or provided by companies at a high cost for something that should be taught freely in schools starting in middle school or earlier.
There are 3 main areas of development
à Personal: knowledge, understanding, comprehension, acceptance.
à Motivational: habitual, application, momentum, progression, repetition, emotional.
à Financial: resources, options, assistance, flexibility, adaptation
You cannot have one without the other, and financial development doesn’t come without both but financial development isn’t just money, it’s anything that provides resources to you in life ‘school, help, charities, etc’ if you don’t have personal and motivational foundations developed and sustainable anything you obtain whether it’s worked for or given to you will fly out the window.
Recommendations
- Personal Development: Zig Ziglar, Dale Carnegie, Napoleon Hill, Scott Young, Steven Covey.
- Motivational Development: Anthony Tony Robbins, Jack Canfield, Steve Chandler, (note – 80% of all your motivation is determined by your peers, if you have a like-minded group of individuals who are out accomplishing things you are wanting to do, they will motivate you more than anyone else ever will, especially if you know them in real life.)
- Financial Development: Robert Kiyosaki, Donald Trump, Dan Kennedy, Napoleon Hill, Jamie McIntyre
Great programs are provided by Anthony Tony Robbins, Robert Kiyosaki, and Donald Trump and many other people who teach financial and personal development stuff.
š Framework (Habits, Health, Emotional)
- Habits
What habits support what is built upon your foundation? What defines your habits?
“We are what we do. Excellence then, is not an act, but a habit.” ~Aristotle
There is another quote I know of from a source I cannot identify but it goes as such: “Ninety-nine percent of all failures come from people who have a habit of making excuses.” If excellence and success is defined by our habits, then so too must our failures and lack of accomplishments.
Nobody is perfect, we all have our weak points, and because nobody is perfect that leaves us with the fact that humans have no limits to potential which gives us all the freedom to be just as great or even greater than our idols. Greater than Gandhi, greater than the Dali Lama, greater than the pope, greater than Donald Trump, greater than Anthony Tony Robbins, greater than god should I be so sinful to say that the limit of human potential has not been defined by anything, and anyone who has defined that limit has been proven wrong.
Wherein our lives we find the productivity to achieve such greatness in any field is not defined by our will power alone, our persistence, our burning passion, those merely set the stage for such a change to occur. Where our greatness originate from is our ability to consistently and automatically without effort apply ourselves towards a goal without any external influence. As much of a habit it is for the sun to rise in the morning so too must we get to work each morning to make our lives bright and sunny.
I myself am forging a habit to always apply myself on my own foundation to secure in that foundation habits of continual development. I live in my building as I build it so that each morning I awake surrounded by hammers and nails that I just instinctively get to work. Right now as I type this, much as I type many articles I write here I am walking on a treadmill in the exercise room of my apartment complex to force myself to get off my butt and stay active. This moment while on the treadmill doubles as my ‘productivity time’ I do not stop being productive in writing these newsletters, developing my foundation, growing my businesses and more while I am on this treadmill; I do not stop until I drop.
While many people would struggle making a habit to walk a mile per day or some other effort, I will walk as much as 8 miles AND reinforce the foundation of my life as explained in this newsletter, and while I type such newsletters I too will also listen to an audio book. Thus multitasking in a efficient manner where my body just flows with each step I take to a better future each day.
And efficiency is the second key to a habit, while you do one thing there are likely other things you can be doing at the same time, if you make it a habit to not only develop good habits to promote your life but also to multitask with other habits that strengthen other habits, then you create a snowball effect towards a lifestyle of productivity and efficiency.
What sorts of habits deteriorate our bodies and life?
TV
Movies
Videogames
Listening to degrading music of hate/sorrow
Trashy literature (idolizing stars, paparazzi, criticism)
Smoking
Drinking
Drugs
Staying up too late
Sleeping in too long
Not exercising
Junk food (crappy cereals, candy, soda,
Unhealthy ‘healthy’ foods (Grapes, apples, strawberries, watermelon, etc)
Unproductive website socializing
Hanging out with people who don’t promote our growth
Hanging out with people who focus too much on security
Hanging out with people who make us believe the world/life sucks
Hanging out with people who put down others
Learning skills and lessons that are not in line with our needs (School may fall under this if they do not teach classes that spark your imagination and encourage you to develop.
Working at jobs that don’t give us any other reason to work other than money.
Habits of making excuses
Habits of saying “Can’t”, “Impossible”, “No”
Habits of not even trying
Habits of self abuse (if you don’t consider any of the above self abuse)
Down talking others by insulting them, degrading them, making fun of them.
Getting into fights
Not keeping your word (lack of honesty, integrity, character, truth, reliability, etc)
Lack of emotions (empathy, sympathy, caring, understanding, respect, love, etc.)
Reactive emotions (anger, jealousy, betrayal, punishing, ignorance, aggression)
The habit of being inconsistent
Not finishing what you start and/or lack of responsibility
Anything that doesn’t let you do what you want freely without resistance
Anything that doesn’t let others do what they want without resistance
Not asking for help
Chances are if you’re like the many people I used to grow up and hang around that list would pretty much destroy your life. It’s enough to convince people to not even try, but before I get put on national television and scolded into the ground let me say this… Nothing is inherently bad, because of that none of the above are automatically to be deemed bad, if it is in line with your personal goals and you are using it to promote your personal development it very well can turn into something that is extremely beneficial for your life depending on your goals.
Many of those habits up there are habits I personally have to combat in order to produce a solid foundation for my life. The more I develop myself, the more I kick out those old habits. While some are not so bad others don’t benefit you in any way at all, most of them however should be viewed as nothing more than a novelty toy. While I have taken the liberty to never watch TV or play videogames more than 2 hours per week, I personally love watching movies and have no problems watching them on a daily basis as long as it’s in line with what I personally feel is appropriate, and if possible I try to make it a movie that’s in line with what I wish to learn/do. But I try not to watch a movie more than once per week.
In terms of junk food I’m a slave to my habit and lately so have I been with staying up too late and sleeping in too long but sleeping and waking up are on my list of immediate habits to correct.
For suggestions on building good habits view products by Anthony Tony Robbins, Jack Canfield, Steve Chandler, and the book “7 Habits of Highly Effective People” by Steven Covey I’ve read that book myself and it’s extremely worth while, I haven’t read “How to Change a Habit” by Scott H Young yet but the preview segments of it look very worth while.
- Health
How much does your personal health promote development? What defines your health?
Obviously with my insatiable appetite for junk food I’m no health guru but through my solid foundation in sports and fitness I know very well the value and influence overall health has over a person’s success rate.
Think of the movie Mall Cop when you have a goal in life, if you’re a living Paul Blart, or even worst, a chain smoking drug dealing alcoholic excuse making Paul Blart then when it comes to being happy in life no amount of pie will fill the cracks in your heart and all the Hello Kitty band-aids won’t heal your wounds. If you haven’t heard of the Movie Mall Cop hop on YouTube or rent it out, it’s fun.
But to get back to the point, if you’re at that stage in your life all hope might seem lost, others might feel you don’t have a chance in the world at anything, but in reality by default you have.
When you find your health isn’t in line with where you want to be, whether you’re a smoker, over weight, don’t get out enough, eat too much junk food (like me) it just comes down to making your first habit the habit of replacing each behavior little by little. Having come from a solid sports foundation I’m naturally much more physically accomplished and healthy, hours of martial arts with miles of walking and miscellaneous activities depending on what I’m doing outside I’m all over the place. But to change anything such as my diet starts with making a habit of gradually substituting what you currently do with what you want to do.
And if you make excuses you’re bound to always fail, like me my most common excuse for not eating healthy is because I cannot grow my own food on a nice open yard and ensure all my produce comes from the most reliable source possible…. ME. That’s obviously not a easy excuse to deal with in California living on the second floor of 114 unit apartment. So is my excuse that good food costs too much so I typically fail to change such a habit, but that doesn’t mean I can’t make small simple changes by simply changing my cereal from Kellogg’s Fruit Loops to Eating Right’s cranberry, walnut, almond Bran cereal and sometimes Kashi.
Small consistent changes gradually over the long term will have a profound effect on how great your life is.
For suggestions on changing your current health study the books recommended under Habits, get a coach who is as healthy as where you want to be, they will hold you accountable for your actions/inactions, and pick up a P.E course at a local college which is the cheapest way to go and yet highly effective.
If you want my personal recommendations, take up low impact activities, above all swimming is the best I know this because of my own personal research but I’m not a big swimmer unless it’s a salt water pool because I hate chlorine. Otherwise pick up bike riding, roller skating, and any exercise equipment that does not produce consistent and redundant impacts like walking. Above all: enjoy it, if you don’t enjoy what you do then you’re not going to keep at it, because of that you have to experiment with what’s out there to see what you like. I hate walking and running, I think it’s too hard on the body, but martial arts performing acrobatic flying moves like in the movies and sparring in competitive fights are fun to me.
- Mental/Emotional
What thoughts fill your head and how do they make you feel? Who puts them there?
Okay speaking from personal experience, you can have all the best habits in the world and the most physically capable and healthy body in the world but if your mental and emotional stability are not in a state of positive being – with happiness and fulfillment, appreciation, love, care, honesty, integrity, and meaning – then you as an individual are likely to find yourself held hostage by anti depressants and/or curled up into a little ball crying about how much life sucks now and/or in the past and how bad you expect the future to be. Especially if you fit criteria of a most extreme case you will find yourself failing in life left and right only to end up back where you were.
I say this with such confidence because that was me, I’ve been there and the reason why I work so hard to this day is partly due out of fear of returning to such a state in my life. Even 2 years after I’ve started recovering from the lowest point in my life fragments still find their way into my brain, even last night as I tried to sleep I found myself on the brink of tears just of the THOUGHT of where I used to be.
Sadly when you’re in such a position the only thing that seems to consistently work for individuals from what I can read and discover is a moment in that person’s life where they have to decide RIGHT NOW whether they are going to win, or lose. For me personally that’s the point in my life when I decided to never be subject to my environment. That too is what got Anthony Tony Robbins from where he was, a poor 17 year old kid kicked out of his house by his mom to making 10 million annually.
But I don’t believe that is the only way to climb up from such a pit of hell. I tried to physically do the work to control my life and do activities that represented what I believed in, what made me happy, what made me feel good, etc…. And it worked… that is, until I failed. My goal at that time turned out to just be a lie to myself to cover up what I had in my life that required me to fix them personally. But up until everything caved in on me as noted under Retaining Walls, things got a lot better; what I failed to do was diversify my foundation and fill in the cracks. I tried building up other segments to help, and they very well would have, but they came too late in my life personally.
However if you’re in such a position as I was, maybe you’re depressed right now, hell you may even be transgender too, in prison or on the verge of going to prison, spending your life in a basement, an orphan, or forbid you’re in a even worst spot.
I believe you can climb up the ladder into the infinity of human potential and kick the crap you’ve been fed all your life right back into the mouths of everyone who fed it to you. Learning from my mistake in the past if I tried so without such a burning passion I have in life now I would take full advantage of the Success File, learn everything it teaches, apply it to my life in everyway it might possibly benefit me, work out the goals in life I want to achieve set out on that path with or without support and do whatever it takes, and with each failure realize that with it comes a seed of equivalent or greater success/wealth. If you want to know more about how this works read ‘Think and Grow Rich’ by Napoleon Hill, there are countless references of others one of which includes his son born ‘without ears’ who was expected to be a deaf mute all his life by everyone.
Personal tips I use to keep my mind and emotions in check and focused on the positive.
Don’t watch the news, or any TV (that killed my mind on so many levels, it zombifies it and filled it with reports of oppressions, killings, crimes, corruption, economic crashes, pharmaceutical ads and more). By getting rid of TV my emotions leveled out greatly.
Don’t listen to sad/angry music, I’m not saying throw them out all together, but don’t vent out the frustrations of your life through them 24/7. I told a poet friend of mine who suffered a loss in her life ‘No amount of poetry can bring back a loved one’, and if such poetry is negative it will only serve to bring you down with it. Don’t give it up all together, just don’t let it be your primary outlet.
Replace such sad/angry music and media with positive songs and news, force your brain to look at the sunny day and feel good about it, or focus you brain to associate rain with new life. Focus on media that makes you happy, news reports you can control found on www.Current.com or some place of people actually doing something good in the world. Or Google “Good News”.
Pick up good habits to change your environment, bike riding, walking, and others that get you out and about and active just make things so much better on every level it’s hard to believe. If you play a instrument, play it outside.
Get a job doing something you would love, walk dogs as a hobby even without pay, even if you don’t have a pet just hang out at a dog park and enjoy the day.
Create an event completely random to throw your brain for a loop or think of something that always makes you smile. One thing I learned about is if you’re to go on stage and you’re afraid of the crowed, or you’re simply in a bad mood; imagine every person you look at having a lovely piece of crap upon their head.
Look into possible hormone therapy, a specialist I know of John O’Dea helps out so many different people with hormone related issues they might otherwise not know anything about. PMS, transgender, mood swings, emotions, pain, etc it’s rather fascinating. And it’s not pharmaceutical type junk designed to take away your life like some anti-cancer pill known to give people cancer; it’s the real deal.
š Seeking Help
This is a biggie, seeking help. It’s one of the most difficult things people find themselves doing. Whether it’s a person’s ego, pride, self confidence, independence, maybe they were taught to be able to do everything or be the best in the world; whatever the case it goes without exception that – we all must seek help in order to build a solid foundation in our lives – I will bet anything if anyone tries to build a sky scraper that if it doesn’t fall it will catch fire, if it doesn’t catch fire it will cause people to get hurt, if people don’t get hurt it will likely to have never been finished should you live to see the fruits of your labor finished.
When a company builds anything they seek help, financial experts, building inspectors, expert contractors, educated individuals, good workers, team leaders and more.
I know personally having been a guy, seeking help is something that is not taught by many people, you might be expected to do everything yourself and/or deal with it. Unlike for women who have abuse support, rape support, pregnancy support, emotional support, etc. Men don’t fair too well, many guys often times don’t know where to turn when they’re abused by their spouse, or a victim of rape, or find themselves dealing with hardships, and often times are ignored because guys are typically painted as a ‘bad guy’. That’s a view supported by even male feminists who refuse to believe men deserve equal treatment and fair emotional support.
But whatever the case we all need support no matter who we are and/or where we come from. It is a fundamental need of humans that if our default foundation in life does not include any such support then the emotional/mental side of a person is almost certain to collapse in ruin.
Tips
Ask people for help. I know simple yet nobody does it, to be able to say ‘Honey… I’m having a tough time right now. 3 minutes, that’s all I ask to be connected to you and nothing else because I need you.” Or “Mom/Dad, I’m having some serious trouble personally, could you please sit down with me and help me out on it and see if we can find a solution? Without judgments or jumping to conclusions.” Or “Boss/Teacher sir/ma’am, I’m having real difficulties in my life and I really need help, could you possibly be willing to help me find solutions and/or others who can help me without the need of pills but instead real attention?”
When I came out to my dad as transgender and ask for help was the hardest thing for me to do in my entire life. A 19 year old professional martial artist who had the capabilities of theoretically doing anything and everything fell apart when it came to asking for help. In the end I didn’t get a lot, but I got some, and that was enough to make a huge difference.
Associate with like-minded individuals who have been where you are and/or support you for who you are and what you do in life
Join communities of individuals of this nature, but also don’t get too grounded in your dependency on them, being transgender I am a member of only one transgender community they’ve been a great help but I don’t interact with any other LGBT community not even my own on any regular basis because I have no dependency on them.
This one I personally do myself, for good reasons. Join a community college and get well acquainted with their health center to see if they provide free psychologists, while you’re at that school take some classes that will develop you personally and mentally and physically. If you’re in high-school get in touch with the high-school counselor and see if they will arrange to bring you appropriate psychological help and/or work with your personally to make positive changes.
Contact me for anything, I love being of help, I might be able to provide real insight, real useful information key to benefiting your life. I create this Success File for people like you and many others who need help and I never reject anyone so shoot me an email and I’ll be happy to meet you.
š Helping Others
It goes without saying you cannot receive without giving something in return, and what you give is what you typically receive in return. Call me brash but I expect that’s the reason why most people who shoot others end up getting shot themselves whether it’s with words, fists, or bullets.
In order to receive help from others you have to be of help for others, if you find yourself being a great help but not receiving much if anything in return it’s likely because of your approach or lack of attempt.
I created a philosophy based off of my personal quote “The only reason I am the way I am is to be better than anyone has ever been to me.” To reinforce and secure my efforts to help people no matter what, if they are mean to me I am nice to them, if they are nice to me I am nicer to them. As of now I have no enemies I know about and the people I’m friends with openly admit to me that there is no way they could possibly ever repay me for my kindness. That doesn’t stop them from trying, but also secures that they take what I teach and apply it forward to others; because I know sooner or later it’ll come back in some way shape or form even. Help people, ask for help, build good habits, and thrive.
Quotes
“What would become of anything without a foundation?”
“In the human world to have a solid foundation is to be in homeostasis, a sustainable state for which nothing changes and exists in harmony.”
“On the individual level there are the basic foundations our lives are build upon are Family, Friends, School, Chores/Work, Sports, and Art.”
“Be wary of people trying to control your foundation in the fallowing ways
“Oh you don’t want to move across the country” (Persuasion)
“What are you thinking getting into such a dangerous field?” (Conflict)
“You can do all that right here, you don’t need move” (Negotiation)
“If you move away I’ll miss you” (Guilt)
“What if something happens?” (Fear)
“To teach such a thing to others like I am doing now for you will cause you to learn much more than if you never teach others.”
“Whether a person is religious or not if one doesn’t believe in themselves then they do not believe in what their god creates.”
“You can be the strongest hardest worker in the world but you must balance work with efficiency. You can work as long and hard as you want chopping down a tree with a blunt axe/saw, but it’s not going to happen.”
“Working hard is more than working 3 jobs with a baby on the way, cramming for finals, paying debts, etc.”
“A person without any foundation upon art would likely face problems with lack of creativity, inability to comprehend descriptive visualizations, lack of attention to detail, and inability to manipulate freely in one’s mind and/or in the physical world.”
“There is even an art to building a foundation, if you’re not creative enough to work with something so freeform, something so abstract, something so omnipresent, it will escape you mentally. When it does it will escape you in reality.”
“A foundation is only as strong as it is built, if a flat cement slab is all you need in life that’s great. Others might need a big hole in the ground with lots of frame work. Some people might need to build their entire foundation into series of tetrahedrons (pyramids)”
“The more variant your lifestyle is from the norm, the more your needs will vary to build a solid foundation. Be creative and open minded and ask yourself ‘How does (or can) this support my needs in life?”
“Faults in foundations and retaining walls in our lives are pretty easy to spot, they just come in our daily language.”
Advertisement: “Ever feel like the world is caving in on you?” If yes à Retaining wall
Advertisement: “Ever feel like everything falls out from under you?” à Foundation
Recommendations
There are 3 main areas of development
à Personal: knowledge, understanding, comprehension, acceptance.
à Motivational: habitual, application, momentum, progression, repetition, emotional.
à Financial: resources, options, assistance, flexibility, adaptation
Recommendations
à Personal Development: Zig Ziglar, Dale Carnegie, Napoleon Hill, Scott Young, Steven Covey.
à Motivational Development: Anthony Tony Robbins, Jack Canfield, Steve Chandler, (note – 80% of all your motivation is determined by your peers, if you have a like-minded group of individuals who are out accomplishing things you are wanting to do, they will motivate you more than anyone else ever will, especially if you know them in real life.)
à Financial Development: Robert Kiyosaki, Donald Trump, Dan Kennedy, Napoleon Hill, Jamie McIntyre
Great programs are provided by Anthony Tony Robbins, Robert Kiyosaki, and Donald Trump and many other people who teach financial and personal development stuff
“We are what we do. Excellence then, is not an act, but a habit.” ~Aristotle
“Ninety-nine percent of all failures come from people who have a habit of making excuses.” If excellence and success is defined by our habits, then so too must our failures and lack of accomplishments.”
“because nobody is perfect that leaves us with the fact that humans have no limits to potential which gives us all the freedom to be just as great or even greater than our idols.”
(How would you like to be of more service to the universe than God? Why Not?)
“Efficiency is the second key to a habit, while you do one thing there are likely other things you can be doing at the same time, if you make it a habit to not only develop good habits to promote your life but also to multitask with other habits that strengthen other habits, then you create a snowball effect towards a lifestyle of productivity and efficiency.”
“If you’re at that stage in your life all hope might seem lost, others might feel you don’t have a chance in the world at anything, but in reality by default you have.”
“When you find your health isn’t in line with where you want to be, whether you’re a smoker, over weight, don’t get out enough, eat too much junk food (like me) it just comes down to making your first habit the habit of replacing each behavior little by little.”
“What thoughts fill your head and how do they make you feel? Who puts them there?
How much does your personal health promote development? What defines your health?
What habits support what is built upon your foundation? What defines your habits?”
“– We all must seek help in order to build a solid foundation in our lives –“
“We all need support no matter who we are and/or where we come from. It is a fundamental need of humans that if our default foundation in life does not include any such support then the emotional/mental side of a person is almost certain to collapse in ruin.“
“It goes without saying you cannot receive without giving something in return, and what you give is what you typically receive in return.”
“In order to receive help from others you have to be of help for others, if you find yourself being a great help but not receiving much if anything in return it’s likely because of your approach or lack of attempt.”
Try to adopt it as a lifestyle, a personal responsibility to improve the lives of yourself and everyone around you by being better than everyone has ever been to you. You don’t have to be the BEST at everything, just apply yourself to return favors through equivalent or greater means of gratification. “I am the way I am to be better than anyone has been to me.” Why? To better everyone as an individual whether they’re nice to me or not. That will create a default foundation of integrity solid enough to build your life in any direction from there.
Thank you for reading this. I look forward to meeting you at the top. Lets change the world together. ~ Remrie Arrie
