Just Do It Remrie!!!!

Remrie Ra Arrie
Realizations of Whys
11/15/09

Right now at 11:02 in the morning November 15, 2009 I am sitting in my black leather computer chair in my apartment in Canoga Park right outside of LA wondering this…

What I should do between now and May or August of 2010

And

Why am I having so much trouble trying to ‘just do it’?
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As I sit here I decide to skip thinking about the here and now and go back all the way to my days in high school at Project Insight special education alternative school for students with special needs. A school of 50 students max grades 7-12, 2 hallways and 7 classrooms.

1. I wake up

2. I get on the bus

3. I ride the bus for an hour through the country side sleeping the entire way down gravel roads, passing corn fields.

4. I arrive at school and get off the bus

5. I hang around until class starts, in that time I am free to do what I want. The options in this time of about 15 minutes is get a drink, chat with friends, have a game of pool on a beat up torn billiards table, draw and anything deemed ‘orderly’ within school regulations.

6. I go to class, participate, if bored maybe I draw while in class or stare out the window or fallow the lines of grain in the tables spiraling in circles and stretching the length of the table which was really comprised of wood particulates covered with a plastic layer to make it look like solid wood.
7. I’d move from class to class with short breaks in between after each 30 minute class, 7 classes in a day. Class by class I would repeat the same behavior to fallow the code of ‘orderly’ within the school regulations. Less I end up arrested, in juvenile hall, and relocated to an even more strict school.

8. When recess came by the options of activities would be the same. Take 20 minutes to get a drink, chat with friends, play a game of pool, draw etc…

9. Lunch I’d be ordered to sit down and wait, have my name called and rush to get in line, served and sit back down. After 15 minutes of eating fallow 20 minutes of recess. Again I can drink, chat with friends, play a game of pool, or draw.

10. During class when not interested in the subject or topic, if I requested or forcefully chose to do something of educational interest to me, such as read a different story from the same text book, my request would be rejected and my forceful choice to do it anyways would act in punishment. As the case when I chose to read a Japanese story about a dog in feudal Japan rather than the traditional curriculum Ms. Bowen already planned for the day. Lord forbid my lack of interest in what she thinks is useful to teach and learn be of no relevance to me and my life.

11. Waiting for the busses and for my name to be called I can choose the same options of waiting quietly, get a drink, chat, draw, or shoot pool before being called to my bus, sent home, through the country back roads to arrive back at home. Completing yet another average school day, maybe even a ‘good’ day at school.
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I find after this entire process I realize I have been obligated to perform given tasks with minor 10 to 30 minute breaks to do my own activity as long as it’s ‘orderly’.

From 7am to 3:30 when I arrive at home. 8 hour work day obligated to perform certain tasks and ordered to maintain a certain standard by those responsible for me.
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12. At home now, I have no obligation to do anything with no limits of any kind and no fear of being punished. The world is my workshop… And I’m bored.

13. Nobody to work with, no friends to hang out, no proactive parents, a tired grandmother of no worth, small town one and a half miles wide, 3,300 people, one traffic signal, and a brick road I’d ride back and forth on more than any other.

14. From 3:30 to 12:00 am I did nothing. Ride my bike, martial arts, had dinner, play videogames, no interests of any kind. When at the library waiting in line to use the computer for internet to hang out on a social online forum I would pick up the occasional book, one on Japanese mythology reading the story of Kono Hana Sakuya Hime – The Lady who Makes the Trees Bloom, the cherry blossom trees. Occasionally something on cats, more-so on human gender but that’s it.

15. That spanned 5+ years. Upon graduation some of it was self directed in college, but outside the classrooms of only 2 classes a semester no I had no obligations to do anything. Maybe homework for fear of failing the class but all that was on my own. I didn’t go to dad for help with homework and when I did I didn’t feel comfortable or encouraged. I actually worked with a teacher from high school on homework rather than my dad who has a two masters degrees to be a teacher.


16. I eventually got into EATM the exotic animal college out in California and had a TON of obligations, never ending. But also I had a lot of room to do what I wanted! And a support system to do anything. Although due to some secondary issues I failed out of the program in May 2007 and have had no obligations since then, now it’s November 2009; 2.5 years later.

17. I have since then done a lot of stuff for myself to get to where I am now, changing genders, making more friends, learning several different things, etc… nothing of much value really besides gender and a few self esteem things.

18. And now I write this paper trying to figure out why I can’t do anything for myself.
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In the end when all is said and done, I see I had this huge chunk of my life obligated to do certain tasks a certain way with limited flexibility to do my own thing, with few to no resources to really grow and expand; especially lacking emotional encouragement. Nothing says “do a great job and do your best!!! I know you can do it!” like being arrested, hand cuffed in a chair alone in a room getting bitched out by a lady in a suit with two armed officers and fined for anything ‘off task’ in school even if it requires the same task.

I came out of high-school with the mentality to act like a robot, and that’s exactly how I acted for the longest time I could not break out of it. My employer Thom Lawson was the man to experience this first hand. I’d come to work, ask what needs to be done, do it, come back ask what else needs to be done, do it, come back and ask what else need to be done, and do it. If nothing needed to be done I did nothing. Or in the case of one employee of his from my school he instructed the kid to clean a certain spot of the floor, and the kid did it, and kept doing it, and kept doing it, and kept doing it until he was instructed to do something else.

I feel this is why I couldn’t do any work for my dad unless it was very simple or he was working with me, otherwise it wouldn’t get done because it was an on-your-own task. I didn’t know how to work on my own…. And to this day while I can’t say I still don’t, it’s definitely a psychological program to overcome to do it. While I could do anything for Robert Kiyosaki in anything business and real estate at the drop of a hat upon any order ‘do it –now-‘ I would do it with my best gusto. But even if someone of his stature came to me and said “Remrie, I want you to buy your first property by May 2010 I know you can do it” while I would be extremely motivated he would tell me that in person, I would find it hard to maintain a consistent work habit even for 1 hour a day let alone 8 hours everyday as in elementary, middle, and high-school.
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How to break free of it –
I know a lot of the skills. It takes certain mentality, emotions, affirmations, supportive peers, a lover, a reason, meaning, personal value, etc… but somewhere in my knowledge I am lost. I feel as though my greatest reason for lack of motivation and commitment is due to not having a lover, or supportive peers who do the same things to work with me as a team (this is where parents fall in as well which I also lack) and nobody is bossing me around to do anything.

By now after writing this all out I have a clearer idea and understanding of –why– I have so much difficulty. However I do find myself at a lost of being able to physically do things with all this time in my hands; I affirm myself, I encourage myself, I find supports and peers to encourage me in life in general, but I think I still lack the most influential people to have in my life. A family to call my own, and a lover who is supportive and actively works with me too.

Because when my relationship with Heather took off, I became close with her and her family even to the point I was calling her mom my mom. They took me in, they worked with me on my goals in real estate, gave me encouragement, resources, advice, etc, and with Heather I felt like I could do anything. Then a bunch of crap happens and I lose my confidence in them and no longer feel welcomed by them or included, Heather walks by me without even so much as a wave, no job, only one college course and as a result nothing happens because nobody is there –with– me.

At the peek of my relationship with Heather I was enrolled in a Rich Dad – Real Estate coaching program, had a real estate coach of my own I consulted with, a family to work with, a best friend and possible lover at the time, and I had a goal to buy a property by Jan 1st 2009. And I almost succeeded too had I secured the financing because between Xmas and New Years I was walking through the property, had all the numbers, and loved it. And I loved the feeling. “I’m going to do this” I thought.


While I need to get on with my life and keep going forward, I feel like I can’t unless I find the people to support me and a lover to express myself with and through. And consequently I don’t feel like I can find those people and include them in my life unless I get on with my life and keep moving forward because those are the things those people are doing too.

Which leaves the solution to this challenge, and the solution is to “Just do it.”

Response to - I am Human

My response to a thread called "I am Human" at this location:
http://www.gaiaonline.com/forum/lifestyle-discussion/i-am-human/t.49405493_16/

The main post there details the frustrations of a single individual and his cry for a perfect or even moderatly better world. But he feels history just repeats itself, that nobody gives meaning to something meaningful, that we are lead by hopeless sinful desires that are thought as the root of all evil, and more.



My response below
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Everyone, please drop the argument humans are imperfect, we're no more imperfect than we are perfect, as human beings we have what is known as infinite human potential to achieve and do anything under any circumstances. In our entire evolution nobody has ever drawn a line in the sand saying "This is the limit of human potential!" anyone stupid enough to do so has seen it stepped over by countless people, blown in the winds, and washed away in the tide.

Life repeats itself because of the 'Circle of Life' ever heard of it? It is what makes life go round and round and round and round for good or bad like a wheel it spins, and thus rolls us forward in time. It's not a CD, record, or merry-go-round where we're always destined to end up back where we were. We have never experienced the same exact moment in time twice, not even on a merry go round, it just looks the same. If it was the same nobody would age, it moves forward.

Just as there is one large circle of life, there is a smaller independent circle that is us, and that circle of us, me, is what guides my life in the direction it goes. If you let gravity and chance do its thing you're not going to like where you'll end up, you have to control that circle of your life.


There is a known fundamental process, one of a few others that directs this circle on a individual level.

Thoughts --> Actions --> Habits --> Your Reality --> Thoughts --> Actions --> Habits --> Your Reality --> (and so on)

Your thoughts create your actions which form your habit that produces the reality you live. It's a process, one that is a fundamental foundation of our life no matter who we are or what we want this aspect of our life determines if we are happy or sad, content or unfulfilled, rich or poor, in my case this is what determines if I'm male or female. You are given a default circle but most people don't realize they have it so they just 'drift through life' letting things happen. They call
it 'destiny' they call it 'chance' they say 'whatever happens, happens'.

A lot of people also call it 'Luck', but it has been known by the most successful people in the world that we create our own luck, it doesn't just happen, there is such thing as randomized luck with numbers, lotteries, and the luck of the draw. But the luck of having good things happen in your life that are positive are completely within your power to bend in your favor. For instance if you want 1 million dollars, you increase your luck of obtaining a million dollars by having lots of millionaire friends, doing what they do, seeing things the way they see things, and responding to your environment as such. Even if they don't give you a million dollars, you will likely find yourself very successful doing something that nets you one million dollars.

Or on the flip side you can hang out with fat people who do nothing but eat and watch TV and they will do nothing but tell you to sit down and eat pie. If you can't see your 'destiny' by looking at that fat person on the couch eating pie then you won't have the power to change your 'destiny' to prevent it by saying 'no... this is unacceptable for my standards.'



Thoughts --> Actions --> Habits --> Your Reality --> Thoughts --> Actions --> Habits --> Your Reality --> (and so on)

1. Thoughts
You need to remove negative programming of your brain if you're to move the cycle of your life. That means all of the media influences that don't talk about things you believe in, songs that have lyrics that are not in line with how want to look at life, people who put you down, who use guilt to keep you mediocre so they can feel better about themselves and not be alone in their mediocrity, friends who impose bad choices upon your life. By doing this you are making a core change in your thought processes by taking action to build a new habit of approaching life in a different way.

Sometimes the best roads to drive on and avoid crashes are back country roads with no billboards with the radio off to rid yourself of all distractions, and give rides only to people who want to do the same thing riding in the car with you.

2. Actions
By changing your thoughts you increase the probability of changing your actions. By taking consistent actions no matter how small the steps are you are actively changing your habits to make your new activities in life as automatic as breathing and going to the bathroom; it just happens you don't even need to think about it. By doing this you create a system that isn't dependent upon will power alone. Determination, desperation, and will power is only a catalyst to spark change, not to fuel it forever for all eternity.

3. Habits
By picking and choosing specific habits that are in favor of how you want to you are creating a sustainable system for which future behaviors can be built off of. And by making behaviors habitual, you remove the need for secondary forms of power through external motivation like you do for homework, cleaning up, chores, etc. These habits for all intensive purposes make life happen, and it makes it happen with ease. But you might need to make 3 habitual changes before you can change one big thing about your life. Say I wanted to live in a clean my apartment. Rather than make efforts to create a habit of cleaning my apartment, I would make several much smaller habits that would prevent it from getting dirty in the first place. Such as instead of cleaning all the dishes, I'd make a habit of cleaning every dish when I finish eating, this would prevent it from piling up all together. Rather than create a habit of picking up my clothes, I would make the habit of puting them in the hamper before they ever touch the floor.

It's the same thing with life on a individual level, and on a macro level, there has to be various smaller habits that prevent the problem from occurring in the first place. In your case, instead of a habit of planting trees, it would be to build a habit of not consuming trees (wood, furniture, firewood, paper, recycling any paper product you can, etc.)

4. Your Reality
Your physical realty, your environment, and everything you are subject to is what your mind consciously takes in and both subconsciously and consciously process and respond to. Our physical bodies, not as a human being but as a living organism is designed to take in information and process it, and respond to it. When that information is not in line with your fundamental needs in life you will not be living in homeostasis, a balanced meaningful life. The people that live the life we dream of create the reality for themselves where they have to choose how they are going to respond to all the great things in life. Most other people because they fill their life with bad things, emotions, thoughts, circumstances, etc. most other people have to to choose how they are going to respond to all the bad things in life.

Which would you rather HAVE respond to?
All the great things in life.
All the Bad things in life.

How your respond to those things in your life determines your thought process on how you will go about solving that challenge, and what you will do to reinforce its existence whether that existence is desired or undesired. Because no matter what we tend to always want more, if we don't want something more then we want something different.




Change your Thoughts
Change your Actions
Change your Habits
And your life will be changed forever.

There is a quote that goes as such: "Take care of today and the month will take care of itself." Take care of right now, this moment, and always take care of this moment in the here and now and you will never have to worry about what is going to happen in the future because you will know you have either already done it, or you are working on it this very second. Start on this day, with this very thought, take the action to make a habit of dealing with the most immediate thoughts that go into your mind, and the next 5, 15, 50 years from now will already be taken care of. You may not be there yet, but it's already guaranteed.





On a personal opinion level
I'd say throw out your TV, or stop watching anything but cartoons and comedy central at best and stick to specific movies that suit your interests as a weekend thing. If you can live without a lot of videogames do so, they occupy your time which could be spent taking action or learning something more important, or even teaching others. I gave up videogames, threw out my TV, and only have my computer and internet so I can write these huge posts to random people and possibly spark such changes in other people's lives, as well as provide them the resources to do so, all the while developing my future self by taking care of the here and now.

I had to take every extreme in the book in order get my individual circle of life pointed in the direction I wanted. It took nearly 2 years and I'm still directing it. I've personally had to run away from home to remove myself of all my negative peers, throw out the TV and videogames, I even needed to physically change genders to become female, surround myself with new positive supportive peers who also can educate me, 2 of them are life coaches I'm friends with. I've personally changed my entire choice of music, while I still listen to the older negative songs for entertainment factors, I never listen to them to reinforce how I feel. To do so for me is to willingly jump into quick sand.

From there you have to pick and choose the news that goes into your head. I like Current TV or www.Current.com because it's like YouTube of journalism and some of the stories there are incredibly awesome if you know where to look. By reinforcing good news in your life you are reinforcing that the world is in fact a good place with good people.

To build upon this I also make a conscious effort not to lock anything of mine. My car and apartment are always unlocked at all times unless I'm gone for several days. After 2 years in LA, in a area with gangs, drugs, bad neighbors, dumpster divers, etc I have never been robbed, I have never been assaulted, my truck has never been stolen and I have left my keys in the ignition sometimes on purpose for days on end, even with windows rolled down. I don't see locking doors as keeping people from harming me, I see it as excluding people from my life, that I am not willing to accept anybody for who they are that steps through those doors. Because I also know consequently the people who are most likely to steel from you are those you invite into your home.

Response to: "I Hate Body Swap Episodes"

Remrie Arrie

4/24/9009

This post is a response to a thread a male to female transgender made dedicated to a personal rant of how she feels about TV episodes of the shows she watches where characters swap bodies, go through some torcherous life as the other person and somehow learn how to appreciate themselves and their own bodies. But different in that she can never 'return' to the body that is hers, that somehow the lesson never ends and she's forced to be in a body she rejects as hers among other feelings of insecurities, fear for trying to become who she is, fear of other people, fear of success, fear of failure, fear of being killed, fear of opression, and more.


Response begins here.
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Dear ________________, I hope you don't take this the wrong way, at least for the first part of this message I am going to make a personal effort to purposly ignore all the rules of non violent communication and straight up tell you that you're so fucked up in your head that all your insecurities, logic, reasons, confusion, justification, complaints, habits, and all around stupidity are throwing you around in a made up world that doesn't even exist!

Here's a news flash. When it came to changing genders, what took me 4 years of learning, thinking, wishing, hoping, praying, fearing, complaining, distracting, justifying, procrastinating, only took 1 month of doing, and 8 months until I was full time. And honestly when I experienced this in my life the entire statement here and above was slapped in my face so bad that rather than feel bad for how much life sucked, or how great I felt being a woman, I instead was extremely humilliated by my own actions that I could have had all this in a heart beat had I simply just got up and did it. Without trying, without hoping, without praying, without wishing, just like getting a snack you just get up and do it. And not just me, but many individuals I've seen on a TG forum I visit the case has been the same if not more profound than even my personal experience.

But on a more sympathetic understanding level
We can all relate to your experience and your personal need to feel at home in your body, we are all on the same path no matter what direction we're going. But it must be stated up front that everything that is challenging you in your life is all in your thoughts, and your thoughts become habit, and your habits become your life, and your life influences your thoughts which in turn influences your habits and thus influence your life. It is a recyprical feedback system which you are volluntarally abusing yourself with it and you don't even know.

That same feedback system is so powerful it is what defines the rich from the poor, the smart from the dumb, the pretty from the ugly, the men from the women, the passive from the agressive, the productive from the lazy, the most influential people from the most influenced people.

I don't mean to come across as invasive to your needs, but I guarentee you there is alternative behaviors to replace your current ones to meet your same needs, and/or meet your needs even better.

What are you watching?
For one, throw out the TV, and pick what you are truely interested in knowing that it will contribute to your personal development. Instead of CNN, Google Current TV http://www.Current.com has so much better news and a fair bit of it is very positive and it's actually interesting, unique, and benifitial. Picking your own productions on Youtube to watch instead will save you from having to deal with random TV broadcasting, and with Youtube you can actually watch educational materials that are both found on national TV and by other users and it's legitamate, on demand, as needed to improve your current situation and state of mind.

TV is just a plug in drug that really does suck out the life and time of many people, same thing for videogames you might have you should unplug your system and/or narrow your time playing down to almost never. I remember watching TV and playing videogames as much as 20 to 40 hours constantly without stopping in the height of my gender issues, never did a thing for me. And certainly not the episodes where characters switch bodies. To this day I live without viewable TV stations, I have videogames but only play an average of 2 hours a month, I use my playstation more as a DVD player and tend to only watch movies a few times a month on average. For recreation I go to the movies on the weekend that's it.

What music do you listen to?
The lyrics and emotions the song puts into your head is going to be reflected in your habitual nature to favor anything related to such songs and what they stand for. Songs you listen to that spark positive thoughts and interests in things you really believe in are what are going to have a huge influence over your mood and outlook on life. Instead of some anti war song that sounds like it is the theme song to the end of the world try some pro love song that sounds like the world is perfect already. I used to listen to songs like "Sadness and Sorrow" which would always make me cry, "All My Hate" by Korn, "Bodies" by Drowning Pool, "Enemy" by Disturbed, "Just One of Those Days" by Limp Bizkit and more, and while I had some positve songs they were the most dominant by a vast majority. Now it is about 50/50, I still listen to those songs, just not in the quantity as I used to before, and I NEVER listen to them when I feel the emotions they express. Now I listen to mostly vacation tropical music, Bob Marley, Bobby McFerrin, relaxing instrumentals, and songs that make me feel positive and good.

Yesterday I got the song Mr. Lonely stuck in my head just as a random thought, I hadn't listened to that song for over a year, maybe 2, and it was stuck in my head and having the lyrics...

"Lonely
I'm so lonely
I have nobody to call my own"

playing over and over and over and over in my head did nothing to make me feel better about the fact that I live a life without a lover to call my own despite having my best friend as a roomate who also rejects me at every turn. And you know what? Playing that over and over didn't get me any closer to finding somone who loves me in my life.

Who are your peers?
The people in your life have great influence over what you do and don't do in your life, and they will take as much control over your life as you are willing to give to them so that they can direct your life in the direction THEY think it should go. The fact of the matter is, the people you hang out with are going to be reflections of the aspect of life you live. If you hang out with anti transgender peers your personal development will not progress, if you hang out with unsupportive individuals you will feel you don't deserve their support or that there is nothing you can do to be supported by anyone. If you are not around people who are willing to take you out and help you do activities related to your chosen gender you will never habitually experience life as that gender in your eyes. Girls who go to the mall together buy clothing together, and if they're the same size you can bet they're going to willingly share and support what one another wears.

Age 14: Dad forces me to get my hair cut
"Why do you have long hair?"
"You look like a girl with all that hair!"
"What are you gay? Cut your hair!"
"What's with the pink hairtie allen?"
"You know you look like a girl right? You should cut your hair"
"Hey Allen why are you such a queer?"

That's all I got, and even the most simplistic thing I ever wanted, long hair, socially I was never allowed to have my long hair so I was physically forced and socially forced to cut my hair on two seperate occasions at 14 and 17. When I cut it, it all stopped but I felt horrible without much hair. I never had the guts to even try living as a girl in that environment from scratch because I know what it would have entailed for me, so what I did is rid myself of all those peer influences by moving away at all costs, even if it meant being homeless so I could develop myself into the woman I am, and when I returned back to that place, every positive peer I had was infinitely impressed by my actions and the results of what I have become, and those who weren't had everything they ever said scarffed down their throats. And I got a lot more to scarf down there for when I return again as a public educational speaker for schools. But it's okay, I'm sure their ego is large enough to hold it all.

Nowdays I personally make sure that the only peers that influence my life are peers I want to have their influence over my life. It seems low and unethical to ditch honest good people but think about it... would you learn from a teacher who sucked at teaching? especially if it's a subject you don't want to learn about? Would you work for a dead beat boss at a job you hate for minimum wage? Would you hire a therapist or life coach who told you you're always wrong, who restricts you from doing what makes you happy, who puts you on pills and says you're sick? Then why hang out with anyone who in turn says your sick?

who won't work with you? who won't teach you the things you need to know? why not hang out with individuals who WILL be supportive and encouraging? If you think they don't exist you're pessimistic outlook on like isn't doing you any favors either, might as well drop the pessimism while you're at it. The same reasons why people can't find love in their town is the same reason TG individuals can't find support in their town, they simply never try and stop themselves at every thought from ever trying saying it's hopeless. Whether that town is 1,000, 10,000, 100,000, 1,000,000, 10,000,000 it doesn't matter. On ratio to probability factor yes it does matter, but you have to FIND the people in your life who will contribute to that better life.

I honestly did give up on my hometown of 3,300 people in Schuyler county (7,189 people) and traded it for Los Angeles county of California of 9,878,554 people while the math is much greater, I still only have very few positive peer supportive people in my life, just as many as I now have in Illinois, but now I have individuals so valueable in my life I'll give up everything but my gender to have them near by. These people included my best friend(s), unofficially adopted family members who have taken on a role of my family, as well as a life coach and another person I see as a role model and teacher, as well as my newly expanding network of individuals online which has greatly increased far beyond what it once was across social networking, business networking, professional development, education and more.

Note: While not all of these things are the single most influential aspect of our daily life, there is a huge cumulative effect that is what is present, just like toxins in foods you won't be poisoned to death with one bite, but over 20 years good luck doing sit ups.

The fact of the matter is we all love surprises, but surprises we don't like we call problems, and we fail to see that problems are not actually problems, they are really challenges which is why they plague us. We fail to look at them as a challenge and systematically plan out and take detailed action to take on that challenge and accomplish it. Solving problems, eh that's okay, but a challenge... that's something empowering to have, and they exist for the reasons to help us expand beyond our current limitations.

I have the tools and resources as well as personal experience in my own life to make these happen, if you're up for the challenge rather than the problem to find a solution and systematically take detailed steps to solving undesired situations then I can provide those resources to you via my Success Folder. And I always work with individuals to help them find solutions to the challenges they face and give them the encourgement and resources and knowledge to take it on.

But it really comes down whether or not you're going to complain about a problem of not being in the right body or take on the challenge ofhow to make your body THE right body for you, and only you to have.

Being alive isn't about you Vs the world, it's about you Vs yourself... and you're obviously losing. You have needs that need to be met, yet so much of your thoughts, your internal influences, as well as external influences you give control up to are what are holding you back.

You are the only one who has 100% control over yourself, what you do with that control is up to you.

You are the one with the control over yourself to choose what you embrase.
Nobody can force religion upon you,
Nobody can force nationality upon you,
Nobody can force your career upon you,
Nobody can force music upon you,
Nobody can force shows upon you,
Nobody can force weight upon you,
Nobody can force smoking upon you,
Nobody can force gender upon you,
Nobody can force anything upon you.

What you embrace upon your life is what you are 100% willing to by choice accept as adiquate for your life.


~ Remrie Arrie

What's Your Why in Life

What’s your Why in Life?
~ Remrie Arrie

When you do something, there is a reason for it whether conscious or sub conscious, the brain is a processing machine that devotes much of its entire potential to responding to events/stimulus’s that occur. Touch something hot, jerk away, and probably yell – that’s a subconscious response. You’re driving and a light turns red you stop – that’s a conscious response. Sometimes we do things that are so automatically we think it’s subconscious because we don’t have to think about it, if you’re asleep behind the wheel you’re not going to stop, but if your asleep on the couch and your “friend” decides to touch you with a hot skillet you bet you’re going to react.

When we live our lives we need to be conscious of why we do things, at every age, no matter what we’re doing; we need to be conscious of ‘why’. Why are you working at the job we’re at? Why are you starting your own company? Why are you at school? Why are you playing video games? Why are you watching TV? Why are you trying to succeed in life? Why are you reading this post by me?

Here are starter questions to ask why, ask more if you can think of them.
(Questions taken from Success in 10 Steps by Michael Dlouhy since he asks great questions)
- What gets you REALLY excited?
- How many hours a week do you work?
- What do you LOVE about your job?
- What do you HATE about your job?
- What do you do with your free time?
- If you had two months vacation and all the money you wanted what would you do?
- How do you like the people you work with?
- What problem scares you to death that more money could solve?
- What do you just absolutely HATE about your life that more money could solve?
- If you had all the money you needed, what huge problem would go away?
- If you had all the time in the world to do anything you wanted, what would you do?
- Other than money, what are you looking for?
- What does your family mean to you?
- What do you want for your own personal growth?
- What do you want to accomplish in your lifetime?
- What scares you to death?
- What would it mean to you to help others change their lives?
- What really excites you in life?
- What really makes you angry about life?
- What would you like to give the people you love the most?
- What really, really gets you emotional?


Why is just the first part of knowing what you’re doing and to understand yourself, once you know why you should ask yourself “How is what I am doing now contributing to why I want to do this?”

If you’re watching TV 10 hours per day you need to ask “How is watching 10 hours of TV contributing to what I want to do?”

But not just things we do but also, our peers (parents, teachers, bosses, co-workers, friends, family, etc), our habits, our location, our environment. If we want to get the most out of what we’re doing we must know ‘Why’ we’re doing it, a specific reason, if that reason isn’t in line with your beliefs you must take steps to change it.

Why am I in school?“Because I am forced to by my parents.” If this isn’t in line with your beliefs then change it, talk to people, find out solutions and create your own why rather than their why.
“Because I want to learn as much as I can about _______ so I can be successful at what I want to do in life.” And so on. Once you have your why ask yourself how your actions get you closer to your goals/whys.

Also write out your 3 biggest reasons you MUST be successful. Try to put them in order if you can otherwise no worries.

Reasons:
1.
2.
3.

And as Steve Chandler would say, get on your death bed.

If you ever want to be motivated in life, fear your soon and eminent death and what would happen if you suddenly know you were going to die in a short time. There’s a person noted in 100 Ways to Motivate Yourself by Steve Chandler who was told he was going to die in one year. So the guy defined his reasons to succeed and made it a priority in his remaining life to sit down and write stories, he wasn’t a writer before hand, this was just something on his things-to-do list, by the end he had written 4 novels, and you know what? He didn’t die, he went on to write at least 12 more.


There is also a successful Carnegie Mellon University instructor who is diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and is given 6-8 months to live or so, and in this time I've seen two videos at universities of him speaking about certain subjects and he uses himself as a prime example of when you have less time than you really think, and he's only in his late forties early fifties. Contact me I'll show you his stuff.


Even if you don’t end up dying, at least you will have started and created the momentum rather than put it off for tomorrow. We’re all guilty of procrastination so don’t beat yourself up; learn to become efficient in your actions and progress.

Become more efficient by focusing on each reason you must be successful and create habits that support each one. If your reasons are:

To be healthy (make habits to only eat healthy foods and do healthy things)
To be happy (make habits to appreciate the day, others, listen to happy songs, etc)
To be wealthy (make habits to become financially literate, learn investing, be independent of employers, etc)

What's Your Why in Life

What’s your Why in Life?
~ Remrie Arrie

When you do something, there is a reason for it whether conscious or sub conscious, the brain is a processing machine that devotes much of its entire potential to responding to events/stimulus’s that occur. Touch something hot, jerk away, and probably yell – that’s a subconscious response. You’re driving and a light turns red you stop – that’s a conscious response. Sometimes we do things that are so automatically we think it’s subconscious because we don’t have to think about it, if you’re asleep behind the wheel you’re not going to stop, but if your asleep on the couch and your “friend” decides to touch you with a hot skillet you bet you’re going to react.

When we live our lives we need to be conscious of why we do things, at every age, no matter what we’re doing; we need to be conscious of ‘why’. Why are you working at the job we’re at? Why are you starting your own company? Why are you at school? Why are you playing video games? Why are you watching TV? Why are you trying to succeed in life? Why are you reading this post by me?

Here are starter questions to ask why, ask more if you can think of them.
(Questions taken from Success in 10 Steps by Michael Dlouhy since he asks great questions)
- What gets you REALLY excited?
- How many hours a week do you work?
- What do you LOVE about your job?
- What do you HATE about your job?
- What do you do with your free time?
- If you had two months vacation and all the money you wanted what would you do?
- How do you like the people you work with?
- What problem scares you to death that more money could solve?
- What do you just absolutely HATE about your life that more money could solve?
- If you had all the money you needed, what huge problem would go away?
- If you had all the time in the world to do anything you wanted, what would you do?
- Other than money, what are you looking for?
- What does your family mean to you?
- What do you want for your own personal growth?
- What do you want to accomplish in your lifetime?
- What scares you to death?
- What would it mean to you to help others change their lives?
- What really excites you in life?
- What really makes you angry about life?
- What would you like to give the people you love the most?
- What really, really gets you emotional?


Why is just the first part of knowing what you’re doing and to understand yourself, once you know why you should ask yourself “How is what I am doing now contributing to why I want to do this?”

If you’re watching TV 10 hours per day you need to ask “How is watching 10 hours of TV contributing to what I want to do?”

But not just things we do but also, our peers (parents, teachers, bosses, co-workers, friends, family, etc), our habits, our location, our environment. If we want to get the most out of what we’re doing we must know ‘Why’ we’re doing it, a specific reason, if that reason isn’t in line with your beliefs you must take steps to change it.

Why am I in school?“Because I am forced to by my parents.” If this isn’t in line with your beliefs then change it, talk to people, find out solutions and create your own why rather than their why.
“Because I want to learn as much as I can about _______ so I can be successful at what I want to do in life.” And so on. Once you have your why ask yourself how your actions get you closer to your goals/whys.

Also write out your 3 biggest reasons you MUST be successful. Try to put them in order if you can otherwise no worries.

Reasons:
1.
2.
3.

And as Steve Chandler would say, get on your death bed.

If you ever want to be motivated in life, fear your soon and eminent death and what would happen if you suddenly know you were going to die in a short time. There’s a person noted in 100 Ways to Motivate Yourself by Steve Chandler who was told he was going to die in one year. So the guy defined his reasons to succeed and made it a priority in his remaining life to sit down and write stories, he wasn’t a writer before hand, this was just something on his things-to-do list, by the end he had written 4 novels, and you know what? He didn’t die, he went on to write at least 12 more.


There is also a successful Carnegie Mellon University instructor who is diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and is given 6-8 months to live or so, and in this time I've seen two videos at universities of him speaking about certain subjects and he uses himself as a prime example of when you have less time than you really think, and he's only in his late forties early fifties. Contact me I'll show you his stuff.


Even if you don’t end up dying, at least you will have started and created the momentum rather than put it off for tomorrow. We’re all guilty of procrastination so don’t beat yourself up; learn to become efficient in your actions and progress.

Become more efficient by focusing on each reason you must be successful and create habits that support each one. If your reasons are:

To be healthy (make habits to only eat healthy foods and do healthy things)
To be happy (make habits to appreciate the day, others, listen to happy songs, etc)
To be wealthy (make habits to become financially literate, learn investing, be independent of employers, etc)

A Note for Youth

A Note for Youth
~ Remrie Arrie

Comprehension of Time and Life
Age certainly is a funny thing it’s both a reflection of our greatness, and something to be ashamed of. I’m personally 22 years old at the time I write this to you, I’m at the age every kid wants to be, out on your own, able to do anything I want, free to the world, etc… And older people want to be, to be ‘beautiful’ again, to be fit and healthy.

The entire point of growing up and older is to get out on your own, do what you want, have the freedom to drive, the freedom to drink and buy porn, the freedom to move out, get a job, earn money, buy a car, etc

But even since age 20 I remember people saying to me ‘Damn you’re old!!!’ as if it were something bad, I remember at age 16 talking with my friends saying “Once I hit 50 I’m killing myself because I don’t want to be old” and yet when I was 19 I asked a group of kids, a 3, 5, and 7 year old “Are you all grown ups?” and all of them said yes.

It is interesting, to be such a highly desired state of being yet feared beyond age 20, scary beyond age 30, and somehow hopeless beyond 40, and beyond 50 our fears, helplessness, lack of control, envy of the youth, responsibilities keep piling up, and when mixed together if our life wasn’t well managed we crash… and start looking for last minute solutions to compensate.

And yet when we’re young we think we have all the time of the world. That somehow the laws of mortality don’t apply to us in that we will never die, always be just fine, things will always be the same etc. We can know that something will happen, but very few can actually comprehend their own mortality without witnessing the death of another human in front of their eyes. And with the beliefs of a better place in Heaven, another chance with reincarnation, continual existence through the rest of the environment as if our spirit never leaves and that somehow we always have a ‘reset’ button as if life were nothing but a videogame.

At age 5 I could never possibly comprehend being 10,
At 10 I could never comprehend being 15,
At 15 I could never comprehend being 20,
At 20 I could never comprehend being 22.
At 22 I can’t even begin to comprehend being 25 let alone 30, 40, 50, 60, 70, 80, 90, 100.

I can make estimated guesses, but when I was 10 years old I never could have even begin to imagine that in 10 years I would live in Los Angeles CA, train exotic animals, travel across the country, interact on something as vast as the internet, communicate with people all around the world instantly, become homeless, have the best friend in the entire world, and change genders from a young baby boy eating home grown cherry tomatoes to a beautiful young woman with guys hitting on her as she still continues eating cherry tomatoes. Some things never stop changing, but many things never do change. The only things that never stop changing are our habits.

Habits
Those habits are also what define us. If you think mean things you will likely do mean things, when you do mean things you will keep doing mean things. If you think about smoking and doing drugs, you will be more likely to smoke and do drugs, once you start smoking and doing drugs you will keep doing it. For better or worst our habits are what define who we are and as a result – who or what we become.

The biggest habit of the youth is feeling hopeless… being young we think we’re hopeless that somehow our age is the reason why we CAN’T do anything, when you’re ‘older’ you replace the excuse with age with the lack of money being the reason why you can’t do anything. So perpetually into the seemingly infinite years of our lives we feel hopeless that somehow we are not capable and that somehow others are more special for having achieved what we want.

We feel hopeless that we’re not old enough to stay out at night
We feel hopeless that we’re not able to get a job
We feel hopeless that we’re not old enough to drive
We feel hopeless that we’re not old enough to move out
We feel hopeless that we’re stuck in school forever
We feel hopeless that we have to fallow other people’s rules. Parents, police, government
We feel hopeless
We feel hopeless
We feel hopeless
We feel hopeless
We feel hopeless

“I feel hopeless” that is much of what we feel being young… and it never goes away, even now at age 22 I still feel helpless and hopeless at times, but age is no longer an excuse because theoretically I should be able to do whatever I want and I cannot lie to myself that my age is a reason I CAN’T do something…. But this is where everyone starts saying ‘I don’t have enough money’, ‘if only I had more money’, and once they make enough money they say ‘I don’t have enough time’, ‘if only I had enough time’.

Because of this habit we may live our entire lives feeling helpless and hopeless that there is no solution to our problem; when in reality the solution is the creation of a habit that suggests ‘I can do more, what am I not doing that I should be doing, what can I do to be more creative, etc.’

And then there is the dreaded word: Can’t

I can’t ___________
I can’t ___________
I can’t ___________
I can’t ___________
I can’t ___________

For whatever the reasons we feel we can’t, that somehow things are impossible and is not feasible in anyway shape or form. For the sake of yourself if there is any time you say “I can’t” it would be in your best interest to just say “I won’t”. Not because I say so, after all who am I to tell you what to do? But if there is any reason you cannot do something, the very least you can do is accept responsibility by saying “I won’t” rather than pass the blame upon something else.
Because either one of two things will happen
1. You will accept responsibility by default that you simply will not bother trying without a single complaint or excuse. Because there is nothing wrong with saying “I won’t” in anything, after all if it’s impossible you are not at fault. If you can’t defy gravity you choose to say you won’t defy gravity.

Eventually in time you will learn how this method of thinking can later prevent future destructive thinking habits of pushing the blame upon others and not accepting responsibility and believing what you’re capable of.

2. You reject it fearing that you are held liable as if the reason you can’t do something is because you knowingly won’t let it happen in your life and thus reject that responsibility.

In positive vocabulary workshops the words that are to be banned from your daily language aren’t curse words, they’re the words: Can’t & Impossible among a select few others because these words create the sense of hopelessness when not used to support you.

It’s one thing to say
“It’s impossible for me to fail”

It’s another to say
“It’s impossible for me to succeed”

Try closing your eyes and think of something you want, spend a few seconds repeating each of those over in your head over and over again then use the other and compare how you feel. The more you can own the feeling of desire for what you want the more dramatic the effect will be. If it’s not something you really want in life then it won’t be as powerful.

But it goes without question that the feeling of helplessness is what prevents positive change from ever occurring in our lives, especially if we don’t analyze it and develop a clear plan of action to reduce our fears and take on the challenge one little baby step at a time. And that’s all that’s needed; baby steps towards a solution of that helplessness.

But why is it we seemingly can’t do something?
Why is it seemingly impossible?
Why is it that ‘it’ can’t happen?
Is it your too young?
Is it because your parents don’t let you?
Is it because you don’t have parents?
Is it because you don’t have a car?
Is it because you don’t get an allowance?
Is it because your teachers say so?
Is it because the cops won’t let you?
Is it because the ‘system’ is against you? Is it because the kids around you think it’s bad?
Is it because you’re alone?
Is it because you don’t know what to do?
Is it because you have no support?
Is it because you don’t know who to turn to?
Is it because it’s immoral?
Is it because it’s unethical?
What is your reason of because?


I’ll let you in on a secret.
Do you want to know my reasons why everything was impossible for me?
Everything was impossible for me because I never believed I could possibly do anything.
Every time anything couldn’t be done, every time something went bad, every time something was out of control it was somehow never my fault.

“It’s not my fault all this happened, it’s my sister’s fault. Why did you kick me out when she was the one who started it?”

“I can’t ever do something that great in life, it’s impossible; you have to be born rich and powerful. They’re lucky, I’m not, I’m poor.”

“Why did they arrest me and throw me in jail? Don’t they know my side of the story? They won’t listen to a thing I say, they get paid to do this why would they ever want to help someone? I’m only just a kid.”

“I can’t wear a skirt because I’m a guy, it’s not my fault they won’t let me, I didn’t choose to be a guy, it shouldn’t make a difference, it’s unfair girls get to wear both pants and a skirt and be so pretty and cute.”

“I don’t have money because I don’t have a job, I’m too young to have a job, nobody will hire me, nobody is hiring anyways, I’m not good at anything to begin with.”

“Why can’t everyone just go away and leave me alone? I didn’t ask for this, it’s their fault.”

“Everyone is out to get me...”

I will tell you right now accepting responsibility for my own actions is the most difficult things I have ever had to do in my life, and to this day it plagues me even after years of developing it into a habit to accept that I have the power; and I do. But it’s just so much easier to shift the blame to others, and in reality they deserve their fair share. When there is a problem between two people and they both accept that they are responsible you can bet they both have their own issues to resolve, but at the same time it is guaranteed that everything will be resolved. At least if one person accepts responsibility then there is the chance it can all be avoided and/or fixed.

But if nobody accepts responsibility, then they are just two siblings throwing trash across the hall into each other’s room complaining that the other is responsible for all the trash. And in the end they both still have a dirty room they must clean up themselves anyways and a dirty hallways between them both which neither will ever touch.

We must accept at the bare minimum at least our part of the mess in our life, even at age 20 I kept blaming everyone else; because I was perfect. Or so I thought. But then when things couldn’t have gotten any worst in my life I physically made an immediate change in my life that no matter what I was 100% responsible for everything in my life and I have 100% control of everything that happens in my life, and to this day I still do. But since then every day thereafter my life has only become better for it because of it.

After all when you live on your own and your place is a mess whose fault is it?

There are sometimes you just have to look at the reality of the mess your life is in and do something and it is likely in this moment you will indeed feel helpless.
Helpless because nobody will assist you
Helpless because it will take too long
Helpless because it is too hard
Helpless because it is too boring
Helpless because you have other things to do
Helpless because you don’t have the money to hire someone to do it for you
Helpless because it’s late at night and you’re tired
Helpless because it’s too early and you have to go to work or want to sleep in
Helpless because you have school
Helpless because you feel your friend caused it
Helpless because you feel it will only become dirty again
Helpless because it simply doesn’t matter
Helpless because you’re expected to not be clean
Helpless because others don’t clean theirs
Helpless because others will tease you if you do
Helpless because you feel incapable
Helpless because it can’t be prevented.

The more situations you apply this to the greyer the area becomes in what is your fault and what isn’t. But it all starts with accepting that you were significantly to blame for it in some way or form, and that you have 100% control of yourself to determine what is going to happen in your life.

Yes is such thing as dumb luck… what happens that simply is unavoidable for better or worst, but nobody focuses on all the good luck, just the bad, that in of itself is a habit.

But it goes without question that you create your own luck. It’s a very hard concept to believe, but once you realize how and why and you start to make it happen you realize that you do create your own luck. The habits we create are habits that determine how much positive luck we have in our life.

The habits you create are the habits that are what contribute to what you experience in your life. If you have poor habits, you will have a poor life. Poor habits of hanging out with bad people, poor habits of playing videogames, poor habits of not brushing your teeth, poor habits of eating too much junk food, etc.

If you want positive things in your life, create positive habits to support those things.
If you want good teeth make a habit of brushing your teeth.
If you want good friends make a habit of making good friends.
If you want to always have money make a habit of saving money.
If you want to be rich, make a habit of doing what the rich do.

While so young you may feel limited, at age 20, 40, 80 or 160+ years old you will always be limited by something. It may be hard to comprehend, but if you’re limited as a kid, you will be limited as an adult with kids. If you can show the world you got what it takes even at your age then people will come to you expecting to be wowed off their feet by your awesomeness.



Influences in our Lives
Number games like the lottery and your genetics, and who your parents are, are strictly luck that are impossible to change… No matter what the various religions says, if it happens it happens without question. Even if you don’t agree with the statement and you think you exist in your particular situation for a specific cause and that it’s not mere chance then you still need to accept your position as what you were given to work with. You may be destined to have been born in your position, but you’re destined to have complete control over your destiny.

Because of that, the lottery of life, everything from the day you’re born can all be controlled by you. When you feel helpless and express helplessness what you are doing is giving up your lottery of life to people who will pick the game and what happens for you.

There was a commercial on TV that was nothing but a guy standing in a room doing absolutely nothing, and the commercial showed high speed time laps film work of people scrambling all around. They were picking his clothes, picking his hair, putting cigs in his mouth, drugs in his hand, spiking his hair, dying it green… They were willing to make every choice he didn’t want to make for himself, and in reality that’s what we all do, especially when we’re young. We are extremely opinionated and want to control what others do and how they do it and we feel we have the right to do so… freedom of speech after all right? But at the end of this commercial the guy held out his arms told everyone to stop and he simply walked away to make his own decisions. From there he will make his own choice of what to wear, what to do, how to be, etc.

And it goes beyond that. When we let these people influence us, especially at youth it really is a form of brain control, you willingly give up what you physically do with your life to your peers around you. By hanging out with druggies you will find yourself doing drugs. By hanging out with gang members you will find yourself committing crimes and in jail. By hanging out with your teammates you will find yourself always playing sports.

This is why kids typically continue the path of what other family members do if they are close to the family. Generations of people will stay in the circus industry because their father, grand father, and great grandfather have all done it and they might be admired by that person.

If you don’t want bad luck in your life you shouldn’t be hanging out with people that attract that luck. That’s not to say those individuals themselves are bad, they too are their own individual form of infinite potential, just like you are as well. But with such infinite potential why limit yourself to a lower form of existence than what you want to become?

Who’s to say this rule can’t apply in the other direction?

If you want to become a millionaire, super star, model, etc. the quickest way to do that is to become friends with people who have a million dollars, who are renowned, who are beautiful, etc. If you want to be the best you must hang out and interact with the best, and I’ll tell you right now you will face a lot of rejection by them, especially if you’re choosing other young people who don’t understand the concepts, but if you keep with it, asking the right people, you might find yourself learning from the best of the best.

If you want to be a great athlete how does hanging out with fat videogame players help you? The quickest most effective way is to hang out with athletes who are better than you. If you find yourself to be the best at what you do you have to go out looking harder for other people and/or diversify what you do.

If you want to be a _____________ you must affiliate with people who do the same and who does it better than you.

Be with those who support what you believe in, who will encourage you, and teach you. There is a fine line between socializing for company hanging out with some skater punk group tearing up the town, hanging out uptown with all the other guys drinking and playing music from cars, roaming the streets at night out of boredom, and socializing for beneficial progress to your needs.

Socializing for beneficial progress to your needs and wants in life is the most effective way to ensure your success, otherwise it’s an uphill battle without help from people who are also going uphill with you. This is good because once you’re at ‘The Top’ then you have friends up there with you, and you will be able to bring others with you who look up to you.

Opposition
But like any up hill battle, many people insist on playing ‘King of the Hill’ as if the hill can only be dominated by one, and so they smack down others and make them feel bad, or people who are behind you don’t want to lose or be left behind so they latch onto you and drag you back to the bottom.

How do you deal with opposition that gets in your way? A natural instinct is to go with it to a certain extent then at some defined line drawn by you it becomes natural to push back. An example of this is a man (Adrian Law) who asked a volunteer to hold up her while he put up his to hers, then suddenly without warning he pushed forward and at a certain point the girl resisted instinctively. It was an example to prove the same point, one which you may experiment with your friends without telling them exactly what the reason is for at first.

Another example of this is my freshman year of high-school, while most freshmen are worried about being hazed by the senior class, I was having to deal with such stuff from the school principal. In that year through the resistance of him and the people around creating opposition against me I had a very short line of tolerance before resisting back, and resisting very hard.

In that one year I was tackled and restrained to the floor at least 6 times that year by 3 large male teachers despite being the shortest and smallest of my class, I was arrested on 4 accounts, suspended the final 30 days of school, and most of my days were spent in “In School Suspension”. And by the end of it I was in juvenile hall and placed on 30 day probation.

The ironic thing is, I had already made a goal to be the best student I could possibly be and never get in trouble at all for anything. And I had a reason and cause to support my desire I was thrilled to, but when things happened I didn’t expect I over reacted, didn’t accept my responsibility, blamed others, and had a bad habit of picking fights against those who gave me trouble. I was that nice little weak frail kid no bully would dare pick on

Needless to say I did not react to opposition well, but it was the only way I knew I could defend myself. After that, combined with much more I learned that it was best not to react to anything, at all, ever, good or bad I shut myself off from the rest of the world for the next 6 years and never opened up to anyone out of fear of their reaction to anything they might see as opposition from me.

So, how is it you deal with opposition that impedes your desires, offends you, and contradicts what you stand for and so on?

How do you feel when people seemingly press against what makes you who you are as if they’re trying to change that?

It hurts huh? It’s insulting, it’s violating, invasive, traumatic, and more.

It took many years of martial arts and personal experience to fully understand this myself but when you’re so young, with parents, teachers, peers, government, TV, trends and countless other pressures, you have to be able to flow efficiently through such opposition with enough grace and control to not over react and flow with it.

Removing Opposition
If you watch a lot of cartoons like me, one in particular Dragon Ball Z, an army of bad guys would shoot hundreds of bullets (or balls of energy) at one character and as if he were walking through a forest dodging trees in slow motion, the person would casually dodge every bullet as if it were nothing to fear and would come out unscathed. Another example would be the Matrix when the characters dodge bullets or stop them in mid flight.

Essentially that’s what life is in the modern world. So many advertisements, so many peers, teachers, family, movies, songs, shows, etc trying to get us to do something we find ourselves beaten to death every day of our lives it seems. But if you can stand up and take control of the situation, and determine that you will not be influenced by others in any way other than what you allow you can have 100% control over yourself and what happens in your life.

The first thing I did when I took 100% control of my life was get rid of TV, to this day I don’t use it for anything other than select movies/DVDs, and the occasional videogame about once a month. I also make an effort to never listen to the radio anywhere other than the car and even then it’s off for much of the time.

I replaced my negative songs by Korn, Disturbed, Rob Zombie, etc with more positive Bob Marley, Bobby McFerrin, Louis Armstrong, and other happy feel good songs, I’ll listen to the old songs for a nice change of pace as I am right this very second as I type this, but nothing long term in comparison. I also replace much of what I hear with audio tapes and positive and motivational, as well that teach me how to do things I want in life to make up for what parents and teachers won’t or can’t teach me.

When it comes to physical threatening opposition I’ve come to understand 90% of it comes with the people you hang out with, while the people you hang out with might not cause problems for you personally, but other people they know might have problems with you. This is why gangs are dangerous. It’s all cool and great and supportive unity of brother-hood bonded by blood for all life, but by affiliating with them everyone who is against them, other gangs, cops, parents, and individuals, they will all be out against you because of your choice. And for the most part for good reason and they’re right, they just tend to go about it all the wrong ways especially like cops did with me. So while the people in the gang might be great as individuals, that particular network of friends isn’t beneficial for your wants and needs.

So to control that selecting your friends wisely is what has been the greatest help to me, it took years to get my network of friends to where its at now, despite not having many of people I have a small group of friends that I would never trade them for anything.

While I have gone to the more extreme to control every influence upon me and negate any opposition that tries to guide me away from what I want in life, everyone has their own level to which is appropriate, you might not need to go as far.

But the point is as you take control of what you allow to have influence over you and what isn’t, the rest is easy to avoid all together, and the better you get at it the easier and easier it becomes.

What do you find of not much benefit to your life? TV and videogames are definitely the two biggest for youth, sodas and junk food, negative peers who cause trouble or do nothing at all, songs, certain individuals, etc.

When you pinpoint what is clogging your mind and creating opposition and/or control you, you can then start weeding out their influence over you and when you do so it is a very free experience. It may seem utterly boring but there is more to life than being entitled to having every need of personal entertainment met. If you can sink into a new found way of life, even if it’s not entertaining you might find it to be so much more worth while than any other form of entertainment you might have otherwise got addicted to in the past.

Lets face it, videogames are awesome, but only in limited amounts. Otherwise surviving zombie attacks, alien invasions, monsters, wizards, war, little animals and cartoon characters is all fine and dandy but it doesn’t take long for it to become just as everyday as everyday life.

You Are Capable No Matter What Your Situation
Trust me with this, you are capable, you have what it takes, you have more than enough resources, you are powerful, you are young, you have lots of time to benefit from, you have lots of time to learn, but at the same time little or no time to waste. The main excuse young people make is ‘I got enough time’… until they’re 40, with 2 kids and just got laid off after a divorce with rent to pay. I’m 22 in the year 2009 and by habit when I write the date I’ll still say 2004 when I was 18, when I was 18 I was writing year 2000 out of habit… Time has this wickedly annoying illusion of seemingly taking forever, but flying by in the rush of thrilling excitement when everything is going great.

Which should be your motivation, if you’re so young with lots of time to kill, you should do something that’s not only fun and thrilling, but beneficial for yourself over the long term. Then when you’re 22 you will be looking at the calendar saying ‘Wow time flies, I can’t believe I’m this far already, I’m glad I don’t have to worry about money because I chose to take interest buying real estate instead of playing Sim City.

If you don’t believe you have the power build habits to reinforce that you do. Say powerful affirmations to promote your success

I have what it takes.
I am capable.
I am smart.
I am creative.
I am confident.
I will succeed.
I must succeed
I am succeeding
I do it wonderful
I am a master at it
I am better than everybody else
I am perfect
What I say is what happens
I do not fail
It’s impossible for me to fail
I never give up
Etc.

There are many ways to repeat those and make them stick in your life. Posting them on your walls, repeating them in your head, making a video with those, recording your voice saying them and playing it back to yourself, and many many more. The more positive friends you have to support you in this, the more you will be supported in real life by these same statements.

Still not convinced?

There is a 11 year old Asian girl with glasses named Adora Svitak who actively works with adults and teachers teaching them how to teach children. Think about that, a child who is teaching adults how to effectively meet the needs of children. On top of that she charges money to do so, and because of that she does make a fair good sum especially for a 11 year old. Now anyone can pass on the blame expressing the bad habit of not accepting such responsibility by saying she’s super smart and all that blah blah blibity blah “I am inferior, I am not worth” stuff. But in reality we all have our own unique infinite potential as a human, and no person has ever drawn a line and said ‘This is the line of human potential’; anyone who has had that line crossed countless times.

Here are some articles
http://www.miamiherald.com/news/miami-dade/story/870113.html
http://www.adorasvitak.com/


If you care at all for my personal opinion, I’m guessing that if you don’t then you wouldn’t read this far, but I will honestly say when I look at any person who is 12 years old I see someone who is more than capable of taking on any challenge just as much as any 21 year old. There are a lot of reasons that go into why more children don’t express that side of them which I will skip, but when I see the intelligence of individuals at that age shine in something they are interested in, I see something just as powerful, if not more powerful than anything I ever see in adults. Too many adults never ‘grow up’ so to speak. But this isn’t just not an act of growing up and growing old, it’s a process of growing young in mind and spirit. While others might say “I want to stay a kid and enjoy it” which is completely accurate, there is also nothing to say you cannot enjoy being a kid doing something you love that is so powerful in your life.”

To me grown ups are children who never learned to grow young in mind and spirit, too many adults are just as childish as any newborn… And that kids are old people who are growing young in mind and spirit who are able to enjoy and have fun in life and appreciate the finer things without being too critical of being a ‘responsible’ adult.

I believe that because I asked a group of 3 kids, one age 3, the other 5 and 7 “Are you all grown ups” and they all said yes, and yet every ‘grown up’ I’ve ever called themselves a kid have turned out to always be more responsible, more happy go lucky, more down to earth, and more capable of doing anything and everything they ever wanted. Yet you call a young person a kid, child, baby, etc and it’s typically received as an insult.

If you were to start growing young now, by the time you’re 20 or 30 you’d be one of the youngest people alive in both mind and body, and with that you have the absolute maximum potential to unleash the infinite potential you have as a human being.

Still not convinced?
Search your feelings then… How have you felt when there was something you’ve ever wanted to really do that would really benefit you that people have said ‘no’. Not something irrelivent like hanging out with friends, buying a videogame, etc, but something you know would be of REAL importance to you?

Maybe a dog or cat for companionship and company? Most of my best friends were cats, and through animals you can learn a lot through psychology, animal training and behavior, real life practical skills needed when you’re older. Anyone who says otherwise has never worked in the animal industry. A key trait in business you need is to be able to train others, and if you can train a cat, you can train a person.

Maybe you asked for a car because you can’t afford one? Try looking at that one as a partnership, it works the same way in real estate, business, and anything else that requires help from others. If you can pull that off you’re learning real applicable skills needed in being a great negotiator and partner later on. Or if you take on the challenge of doing it yourself you will be pushing yourself to new limits you might not have otherwise realized you could do, and as you get further in your life in anything you want to do that can be a very valuable trait.

Maybe you wanted to prove your worth by working for someone but they chose not to? If you go through history, you’ll see many people who pestered the same person over and over and over again on a daily or weekly basis in order to prove themselves to be great as individuals. Some of the best Broadway dancers in history, athletes, singers, actors, and more, and in many cases they would be driven away and paid to go away but they would decline to keep going. The persistence needed and dedication to express such desire for something you know is best in your heart and life is one of the most powerful tools to becoming successful in anything.

Maybe you don’t want to work for your money? I know I don’t, nor does anyone else and there is something to be said in that, but you have to go about it the right way. When people are young the most common job they want is being paid to play unreleased videogames… Oh but that is too easy, they do far more work than that, they work REAL hard’; but it’s a start. Try this, make your own videogames and sell them for about $3 as phone applications for people to pay for and download. A man with a regular job learned how to do that online in his spare time through his Iphone, and his first game he sold for $3 which was downloaded enough times to earn him over $600,000! Now he does it full time. He’s still working for money, but he’s working much less for a lot more.

Trust me, if nobody believes in you listen to these words and feel them when I say: You have more potential as a human being than anybody will ever able comprehend, even more than you could possibly comprehend. And with that you have all the power to unleash it by focusing it on one thing in your life to make any positive change happen you want. You just need the confidence, plan of action, habits to keep working on those plans, and the right people to support and work with you… that’s about all you ever need. Role models, resources/tools and a few other things are of great help too but they come in time, and in this day and age you probably have the internet at home and on your cell phone. And in reality that gives you an infinitely valuable tool to express your infinite potential. You have all the power in your heart, in your mind and your soul no matter who you are, your age, what you do. Your very existence defies all logic, let alone what you are capable of. Do it. “Just do it” ~ Nike

Playing the Game and Resources
Getting what you want isn’t about working hard, it’s about being as efficient and creative as possible to create a solution to a problem for which you can benefit from while providing a service to others. And with it, it requires dedication, ambition, desire, passion, persistence, confidence, repetition, and habitual attempts. It has to be in your thoughts, your dreams, how you walk how you talk and more. If it’s not, then you’re likely not going to succeed at it no matter how hard you work. That’s why people work 2 or 3 jobs just scraping by making ends meet. Some of the poorest people are the most hard working.

People with bad habits of making excuses, not accepting responsibility and blaming others would say it’s not fair and that people who have money should share theirs, but it is the poor who more often than not refuse to share what they have. And what it takes to become so successful takes much more than what they are willing to accept.

It is a team sport, it is a number game (dollars are the points), there is never just a winner or loser and the game is divided up into four quarters like a football game by age.
- Under 25 Pregame show
- 25 – 35 1st quarter
- 35 – 45 2nd quarter
- 45 – 55 3rd quarter
- 55 – 65 4th quarter
- 65+ overtime
- Out of time (get the picture?)

You’re in the pregame show if you’re under 25 like me, so you might as well make it one hell of a show by giving it everything you got, scaring your competition, and dominate the field with all you got. But to do that you need a good team to back you, and a good plan of action.

People who fail at it working 2 or 3 jobs just to make ends meet are playing the same game with nobody on their team and they are just getting creamed. Do you want to be one of them?

If you can play Monopoly and you know the basics of any team sport (basketball, football, soccer, etc) then you have a real tool you can use as a workshop to figure out how to win in the game of life for real.

Even better if you can, see if you can find a copy of the game ‘Cashflow 101’, it works differently than Monopoly in that it is much more applicable to real life, it can be difficult to play but it’s extremely worth it.

It has been said by many highly rich and successful individuals “The Internet is the most powerful tool ever invented that makes it easier than ever for anybody to become rich and successful faster than ever before in history.”

And that goes without saying, there is no way to even compete in the world anymore without using the internet as a tool for benefit. It is so powerful in fact people like Michael Dell was in college building computers as a side job and it got to the point where he was making more money making computers than he would in his chosen career. So he dropped out of college and created Dell computers, it’s quite possible you’re using something his company has built.

The same thing goes for the guy that made a game for Iphones by selling them over the internet that netted him $600,000 in quite a short amount of time, likely less than a year.

It is also what the 11 year old teacher uses to reach out to other schools from her basement using a little studio her parents built so she can hold seminars and give lectures to schools without leaving her house

Everybody uses the internet to some extent if they have access to it. Here’s the question, are you using the internet for your personal entertainment in the same way you watch TV, listen to music, and play videogames? Or are you using it as the most powerful tool ever created for what it’s worth as a educational tool that is capable of teaching you anything better than any school can?

I’m using it as an educational tool for my own personal development and progress as much as I can, and with it, in one year I have learned more information, and more valuable information than what I learned in 8 years of formal education through middle and highschool combined. 8 years of formal education didn’t amount to 1 year of personal dedication. Do you see where you have such power? It’s in the dedication you have to create something positive for yourself by taking complete control of yourself and the present at all costs no matter what.

Since you’re likely still in school yourself, if take on such a challenge for yourself, you may be tossing around the idea of dropping out, my personal suggestion is don’t. If you can learn this information and apply it effectively in your life, no matter how much your parents, teachers, peers all suck, you can still use the power to maximize the educational potential of your school. You’ll learn the stuff whether you’re in school or not if you’re dedicated, but if you’re in school you can use school as a crow bar to force your way through into the future much easier than it would be on your own. Like I said, it’s a team sport, even if you’re just leaching off of them for the time being.

Besides, if you can show the you’re da man, you can bet your peers, teachers, and parents will be more incline to treat you like da man. But don’t be an arrogant badass ignorant of others. Instead be smart about it, open, flexible, tactical, ethical, and as polite as possible.

My List of Whys

My list of Whys (Why it is I want to do what dream of and/or do)

- What gets you REALLY excited?
Experiencing every extreme of the world in a active, not passive, way. And always doing something new and pushing the envelope of what I have done before. In this moment I am happy no matter what.

This pushing the limits of my body through martial arts, thrill seeking, sky diving, base jumping, gliding, racing, climbing, anything I can do to get on the edge. If I can sink my teeth into it I want to GO!

- How many hours a week do you work?
Inconsistent, depends on what you call work and why that work is done. As a student, school is the closest example where I would spend upwards of 50 hours per week for months on end on average from 7am – 4pm every day of the week including holidays (Xmas, thanksgiving) and natural disasters. (Yes it’s legal and there is a good reason why the school is like that.)

- What do you LOVE about your job?
What I love about my job(s) is that they are always relevant to my interests. I don’t have one at the moment but either through immediate or delayed gratification in some way shape or form they contribute to what I take interest in. I don’t care about money.

These jobs are generally animal related, but I might take up stunt work as well and teaching/education/mentoring/coaching independently. The more free form what I do is, the more I love it.

- What do you HATE about your job?
Except for one job I’ve never HATED something about a particular job. That one job was mainly due to the political/social system that made up the relationships between employees and I was one of them, it wasn’t working out in our best interests due to select individuals.

- What do you do with your free time?
What I used to do up until 8/20/07: Play videogames, watch TV, chat on internet discussion boards, procrastinate, waste money on novelty items, shun and hide away from people, worry about the present, wish things were better, -hoped- something happened for me, and feared being independent and proactive.

What I do now since 8/20/07: Spend much of my time focused on personal development, mental development, emotional development, ethic/moral development, financial development and more. Contributing to the success of other people to help them get out of places like I was. Gather and collect resources to freely distribute to others so they can succeed in the same way I have/will-continue if they have the motivation. Keep my mind stimulated and focused on doing new things and progressing myself as far as humanly possible in my situation under my circumstances.






- If you had two months vacation and all the money you wanted what would you do?
Experiment to see what could be done in terms of what I believe should be done with my life for others rather than novelty desires. Of course it varies depending on circumstances, situations, and what my ‘work’ is in the present. If what I was doing was related to my current goals I’d take my break and do them more in depth personally on a more involved scale. For instance if I was the president of Petco/PetSmart I’d spend the 2 months washing dogs for fun.

If the situation didn’t fit that possibility I’d likely spend 1 month in two different locations of my choice to learn about that aspect of the world and what it has to offer, who the people and cultures are, etc.

If either of those didn’t suffice I’d learn sky diving, do it the entire two months several days per week and learn different ways with wing suits, etc and pick up base jumping and wing suit base jumping in the Norwegian cliffs etc in the 2nd month if time permits.
http://tinyurl.com/fly-into-infinity

Or get down to work on my own projects and hire all the professionals I can to educate me and show me what to do/how to do it; i.e. real estate investing, stock/option trading, building sustainable (not profit driven) businesses, etc.

And more.

- How do you like the people you work with?
Generally in most instances I don’t have a direct problem with any one individual I work with. The more I can feed off of them the better because then their actions, words, and mere presence is enough to spark my imagination and motivation and drive. If I have problems with people I work with I quickly do what I can to come to a solution with minimal conflict even if at my own costs. Such my last job I quit because couldn’t work in the social environment with the other girls because one or more of them just raised so much hell it was impossible to deal with. I wasn’t making progress I wanted, it wasn’t sustainable, terms and conditions were undesireable, when gas was $4.00+ it sure as hell wasn’t worth the 40 mile round trip (50 minute drive each way) when I enjoyed reading “Think and Grow Rich” by Napoleon Hill on the job more than working there.

In retrospect if I ever build companies and see a employee reading such a book voluntarily on the job there is no way I can’t give them the opportunity to apply it and themselves in a way to give them the success and potential they deserve when other people their age are partying, working dead end jobs, paying student loans, etc.

- What problem scares you to death that more money could solve?
Being alone, no affection, no attention, no touch.
Everyone comes and goes in less than a year and nobody sticks around with me consistently. With that not achieving my goals/dreams and not being able to be a role model to others. Without a sense self worth the money is useless anyways, it only makes it easier to do the things that will give me more self worth.



- What do you just absolutely HATE about your life that more money could solve?
Not having a feminine/female body. Being transgender, I have to spend $3,000 per year on my hormones and even with insurance would have to pay for both genital surgery and breast implants because any/little breast tissue I do have is next to non existent.

Being forced to depend on working for income, if I had enough money to put into secure investments such as real estate to grow my income through sustainable means I would, only would any leftovers be re-invested and/or used for something else. I only make $2,400 per year (note the hormones I need just to be female are $3,000 per year)

Having the fear in the back of my mind that if something happens to me there is no way to pay or cover it. I’ve never lived a day of my life with any form of insurance and I’m 22.

And personally I hate depending on my father because he does too much for me.

- If you had all the money you needed, what huge problem would go away?
All my main personal/immediate concerns would all be solved virtually instantaneously. I would solve the more important things to me first before ever wasting anything on novelty stuff. Also if I had such theoretical ample amounts of money I could get started on Interactive Dreams www.InteractiveDreams.org and anything related to it or create the infrastructure needed to sustain it all without the worry that if I make a mistake I’ll be a million dollars in debt.

- If you had all the time in the world to do anything you wanted, what would you do?
Theoretically speaking, with the time and resources I’d do what I could to improve the fundamental standards of living development that we all need (Education, support, trust, mentors, programs, assistance, encouragement, resources, etc). If it were possible to never die I’d probably do that exact thing in some way shape or form for all eternity; because if life is worth living then it’s not worth dying.

- Other than money, what are you looking for?
I’m not even looking for money in all honesty I hate it and personally resent it for various reasons. What I want are resources and individuals to work with who can and will do more to make things happen that I can really sink my teeth into and have the motivation to work with them. Many people are at or below the same step I am and are hard to idolize, the people better than me tend to be more difficult to find and/or connect with and get REAL help from, generally just opinions or ideas without really getting involved. The one real estate coach I had was awesome for this for the 3 months we were together but I got transferred over to phase two of the coaching program working with 50 other coaches on the ‘resource line’ and it feels like I’m calling flipping tech support for real estate.

Because I sometimes tend to be smarter than computer and/or other tech support and end up correcting them and/or telling them what to do it makes it hard for me to feel impressed and motivated to work with such a ‘resource line’ when it’s inconvenient, inconsistent, little/no relationships, etc.

If I can sink my teeth into a solid plan of action from there I’ll commit to it until each stage is finished no matter what. That’s why I did so well in phase 1 of real estate coaching, but phase two I can’t sink my teeth into because it’s the exact same stuff I’ve been doing on my own for a year before then… Learning on my own, at my own pace, alone and lonely.

- What does your family mean to you?
Nothing.
I drove 2,000 miles from central Illinois to Los Angeles for two reasons, to get my life back on track and to get away from my family forever even at the cost of being homeless living in my truck.

My dad is the only blood relative I care about personally, only 2 other people out of a fairly large family are considered ‘decent’ in my personal opinion.

Here in California however I have made friends with new people so much that I have actually been hypothetically adopted into their family as another child despite being 21 at the time and 2 years older than their oldest child who I was friends with even though I am transgender. Even when by mistake out of my attempt to take care of my friend (their daughter) I royally pissed off both parents. And I was pretty much mortified when it happened and things were the same way for a month with them as it was for me and my entire family for my entire life.

My unofficial family though, means a lot to me, next to everything they probably make up at least 1/3 of my entire foundation of life and without any one of those thirds the others can’t sustain. That’s why I try so hard to do so much for others because I’m always scared I might lose that foundation.

- What do you want for your own personal growth?
I want to reach a point where people can really look up to me for help, honesty, and support, much of all the reasons why that make Oprah so beloved by so many people. Not for the purpose that I will be loved, but to know that I am of use to them and make all the difference in their life. And hopefully inspire them to be as such on their own individual level for others.

- What do you want to accomplish in your lifetime?
It might be simpler just to say I want to save the world.
I want to build up Interactive Dreams into a fully sustainable company not profit driven that always has ample amounts of cash reserves to provide exceptional job care for it’s employees above and beyond all others and develop programs and resources needed for the public and individuals both personally and professionally to help them better achieve their needs and goals. But unlike programs that charge thousands upfront, I would want such services to be as cost effective as possible up front, if not free and only bill them if they achieve their success. Because if people spend half their savings on making their dreams come true just to fail and have half of their entire resources then that company did not fulfill their moral obligation to those people.

And I want it to be started and heavily focused in areas of fundamental development for youth both in normal schools, but more so in the special education ‘alternative’ schools for students with ‘special needs’ such as the one I came from. My school in particular of 50 students (grades 7-12), two hallways 7 classrooms out of all the people at the school I knew many dropped out, 1 ended up back in prison, I myself was arrested 4 times in my freshman year and sent to juvenile hall, and 3 students had committed suicide . Yet I know 100% without a doubt all those kids have more potential in them than any person, but nobody gives them the credit, the support, the resources, the information, the freedom, the flexibility, the care, nothing.

- What scares you to death?
Being forced to live as a male; I was a guy for the first 20 years of my life fortunately it’s not something I have to worry about but if I lose all my income and money there will be no way to pay for my hormones.

Losing my greatest friend ever who is also my roommate, coworker, and hopefully future lover; I never want to leave her side, I almost lost her and never knew it. To know I can’t hug her when I need one would devastate me. I’ve been friends with her for 2 years now and even though we aren’t lovers and don’t really have any set plans, theoretically we don’t plan on ever leaving each other’s side in any venture we choose.

Being alone

Losing my hair or having it chopped off (stupid yes but it has provided me with more comfort than any family member I had, and I’ve lost it on 2 occasion)

Coffee, refried beans, mint, and white pepper.

- What would it mean to you to help others change their lives?
It would mean everything in the world to me to know that I’ve not only acted as the catalyst for a positive change in their life, but also to get them to also spark such change in others they have influence over for the better like I helped them. That’s the entire purpose of Interactive Dreams (Interactive Education, and Interactive Environment)

Even now despite not having reached my own defined level of minimal success (having all of my basic needs met estimated at $50k annual,) I have provides so much service to others that has meant so much to them that they have honestly told me that they could never repay me for all the kindness and help I’ve given them. That is because of my own life statement “The only reason I am the way I am is to be better than anyone has ever been to me” meaning that if someone is mean to me I am nice to them, if they are nice to me I am nicer to them the nicer and more helpful someone is to me, the nicer and more helpful I’ll be to them.

- What really excites you in life?
http://tinyurl.com/fly-into-infinity
http://tinyurl.com/fast-hyabusa
http://tinyurl.com/karatevoodoo
http://tinyurl.com/Xbox-Commercial
http://tinyurl.com/Vujicic

Novelty things are great, I’m all for swimming in key west, learning water sports, relaxing on islands, in woods, near rivers and streams and ponds and creaks… Simply put I like being alive, and to do something as great as anything in those videos linked in blue above are things that make you feel like you have no limits. Besides if you have literally jumped off a cliff and lived your dream of flying without an airplane that gives you that much more creativity and experience to use in how you live and teach others.


- What really makes you angry about life?
Being subject to, and watching others being subject to the inconsistency and lack of basic fundamentals in extremely important developmental systems that are supposed to exist for the purpose of individual development.

It seems the people taking the greatest strides are the people with the smallest client base when it comes to education, training, coaching, mentoring, assisting, motivating, developing, etc. Exceptional individuals seem to be the only ones creating solid programs that are designed and actually functional and practical in developing basic human needs.

My dad, greatest man in my life raised two kids by himself and went to college to get a PhD in a major university, the university had a change of management/policies during his time there after he had completed his final thesis and other things and it was not accepted by the university under the terms that it had to fit the NEW interests of the administration. So rather than collect the PhD he worked so hard for he settled for a double Masters degree, a masters in two different fields and went on to try to become a teacher. The only school that would hire him was 1,500 miles away in Arizona when I was 10 and me and my sister hated it there so he willingly quit his job, but for the next 5+ years he was unable to get a full time teaching job anywhere at any grade level despite being qualified to teach 16 different subjects most at college level. At best he was only a substitute teacher. No school hired him because he was ‘too expensive’ and the schools had stupid ‘bean counter’ accountants on the school business team who would suggest that they didn’t hire my dad or people like him because of the costs involved. In the end the accountants made alternative decisions that looked liked more economical choices but end up costing more in the long run and HUGELY demeaning the quality of education.

What’s my dad doing now? He’s truck driving, and it’s paying more than teaching does. Go figure.

I myself have been subject to being victimized by such a failing school system that failed to meet a single developmental need in my life. Typing, reading, finances, investing, motivation, life, etc all that I’ve taught myself. In the past 1.5 years of my life since August 20 2007 I have taught myself more valuable information than middle and high-school combined. That’s 7 years of education. Ways I’ve been victimized by such a failed system is that when I’ve expressed the ‘symptoms’ of a problem they were always punished and no attention was ever brought to wondering “Why is Rem behaving this way? What can we do to better meet her needs? What are our faults in the matter? What can we do better? Etc” Instead I was punished, actually arrested 4 times my freshman year and sent to juvenile hall. I distinctly remember being handcuffed sitting in a chair with a lady yelling at me with two cops at her as security she was threatening to take me away from my home.

Ironically the year before I had come to LOVE my school almost to no end with a passion, it was the first time I was happy since age 10 and it’s been 3.5 or 4 years at this point. And I made the declaration to more than one teacher “I won’t get in trouble for a single thing next year, I plan on doing the best I can.” Now I’m personally not a expert at picking out the obvious but if I knew of a kid who was that happy, that energetic, that motivated to be ‘the best student they could possibly be’ and the next year they get arrested 4 times in school and dragged out by the cops and suspended for the last 30 days of that school semester obviously something went terribly wrong. And I guarantee that it never has anything to do with the student. It is never the student’s fault. The byproduct of that event was I became quite, reserved, shut down, and was afraid to ever express anything in any way shape or form for several years. And that doesn’t even include all the times I was physically restrained on the floor by at least three large male teachers and at this point in my life I was still small for my size.

And you know what? In the fallowing 4 years of my life I would be subject to witnessing other students getting the exact same treatment.

That’s why I want to go back to that school and make sure nothing ever happens to any of those kids ever again, because under no circumstances does a person ever deserve to be treated as such.

The average criminal also fall under that category too, where do you think most of them come from? In my experience in the animal industry I have come to a rather profound realization that despite the existence of animal extremist groups like PETA and ALF trying to shut down and/or destroy/bomb/terrorize animal facilities in the name of animal cruelty. From a unbiased prospective and personal experience I have come to realize that we treat animals in zoos better than humans in any facility.

When a animal bites or kills someone or a keeper/trainer, it’s always the person’s fault, never the animals, the facility recognizes that and responds appropriately. When a animal isn’t performing a desired behavior/trick (human equivalent of working/studying/sports/arts) it’s the trainer’s fault for not getting the message across. I guarantee you no animal understands English so you have to express humility and control to know you can’t smack them to compensate for your own faults.

And being transgender I get upset about gender inequalities for males but I won’t even go there.

- What would you like to give the people you love the most?
Security – I would like to give the people I love security in knowing what they can do without worry of what MIGHT happen. Right now I have my best friend and coworker as my roommate, I am letting her live here and helping her find a job and have been for several months and have gone through various plans and ideas and am now working on more independent stuff since nobody is hiring. I am giving her providing her security in her life despite her not having a job to pay rent or for her own food at the off chance she becomes sustainable and independent from her family where she was trapped and ‘helpless’ for most/all her life until I came along.

To provide anyone such security to have them know and believe it when I hug them and say “No worries, everything is okay” is what gives me some of the most powerful feelings I ever experience; and their gratification for my help.

- What really, really gets you emotional?
Insecurities about not being female enough (no breasts, no vagina, unwanted penis). When a group of people collect around me and honestly express their love for me with nothing more than hugs and words of kindness. A sense of feeling wanted/desired by others. Death of the loved. Feeling like I’m a parent of a baby/child. Social gender equality frustrations, fear of being alone, fear of being rejected by others on a personal level (not sales/business), insecurities about my voice (20 years of testosterone kind of screws it up). Physical touch.